The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast

#06 - Allowing Yourself To Receive | Women's Empowerment

February 08, 2022 Janelle & Aleesha
The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast
#06 - Allowing Yourself To Receive | Women's Empowerment
Show Notes Transcript

Isn't it funny that most of us are naturally are bad at receiving things, be it compliments, gifts, advice, or just basic help?

In today's episode, we unpack why we have a resistance to receiving the things that we really want.  As well as discussing some tried and true tools to help you release this block.

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Website >> www.janellebridge.com.au
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Insta >> www.instagram.com/unleeshd_you

Janelle : (00:13)

Welcome back to episode six of "The Permission Givers" 

Today, we're talking about resistance to receiving, which is something that Leesh and I are quite the experts on this subject!


So we're gonna unpack this, and as always, we don't profess to know everything! We like to share our struggles with you and in doing so, unpacking and maybe repacking in a better way! hHow we can learn to receive and where it's blocking us in our lives. 


Aleesha: (00:40)

Yeah, when we come up with our topic today, I shared how I like to speak into what's coming up for me right now, and this has been quite big, actually. 

It's been big over a couple of years. 

What I feel like is that, the more we lean into our feminine energy, the more it is asking us to receive. So it's like layers and we peel more and more layers away of that and, allowing ourselves to receive on a greater level. 


Also, there's a lot of wisdom for me that dropped in today, around, sitting with my own resistance and my own patterns, and just allowing myself to vulnerably go "that's an old story." 

Even though your pattern is to reject, reject yourself, and because of the rejection, that's coming up, that you can, you can sit with the discomfort that's going on right now. 


And you can change that pattern and you can allow yourself to receive. I was literally holding my solar plexus this morning, whilst this was all going on for me rubbing it. And I was telling myself, Alicia, you are worthy. You are safe. Cause I, I was going through a fight-flight experience. So my body was, was acting to a bit of, um, anxiety and stress, uh, over this. And so, I literally went through a breakthrough moment that I re-remember feeling like where the tears started to come in. And I was like, you, you are safe to receive. Mm. And you know what? The other that I realized was, was big at the moment was like the fear that I was feeling around, having everything I want, oh 


Janelle: (02:35)

My God, we shut it down. We shut it down so quickly. And they were like, I, I don't get what I want, but it starts to come. And we're like, no, thank you. And I don't know why 


Aleesha: (02:44)

This is it. And I, the resistance I'm like, Aleesha, you're shutting your stuff down. Mm. Potentially from having everything you want. Mm. When you know that that's, but you try, you're trying to call in. That's the purpose of the work that I'm doing yeah. Is to be able to have what I want Yet when my body is going through this fight-flight resistance. Yeah. To, to it coming in. And I'm going back into my patterns of like rejection and stepping back and moving away. And I'm like, no, no, no. This is where you get to stay. And you get to stay over and, and allow yourself to receive. 


Janelle: (03:22)

It's doing the work though. And that's where our ego comes in and goes, this is not safe. You don't get handed things. You need to work hard for things you need to grab, you need to hold, you can't just be gifted. You can't just have it arrive to you. Life doesn't work that way. So our ego is like, don't get comfortable. Don't get used to this. You're gonna be pathetic. You're gonna be vulnerable. Cause you're gonna be used to people giving you things. And you're not gonna have to work out, work for things. And then there's also some form of unworthiness. Well, if I didn't work for it, I don't deserve it.


Aleesha: (03:56)

Exactly. I have that mentality often easy come easy go. So if I didn't work for it, it's probably gonna be taken away just as easily. 


Janelle: (04:04)

I remember 2 years ago, doing a manifestation, like an abundance challenge with Marisa Peer. We, both started this. I still haven't finished it. Cael, if you're listening still haven't finished it either. We're terrible. And the this is, this is the self-sabotage. So I started to do this incredible abundance challenge. Um, Marisa is abundantly wealthy. She has everything she could ever want. And I even, she was like, hold something in your hand and, you know, imagine yourself getting more of it. And I was like, I feel like Awan. I feel terrible for asking for more. I have a home. I have a family. I have food anyway, got over. That did that for, I think I did it for four is in those four days I had two big grocery hampers delivered from community programs to go like, Hey, like I know your business is shut down at the moment. 


Janelle: (04:48)

We love you. And the shame I felt around that was so large. Cause I was like, do they think we can't feed our kids? I don't deserve this. We have money in the bank. We have groceries in the cupboard. This needs to go to someone who needs it, you know? But it was so proof that that changing, that conditioning was working. And you know what? I did stopped doing the challenge, even though it was working probably because it was working, I stopped doing it. If it wasn't working, I probably would've kept doing it to go. This isn't working. Why isn't it working? I better keep going. But it started to work. And for some stupid reason, that's scared the outta me. And I stopped doing it. And I need to go back to that, 


Aleesha: (05:27)

This is why this, this podcast is our resistance to receiving. It's a hundred percent that pattern that's playing out. I'm like, oh, I'm getting what I want. No, no, no. That's that doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel comfortable. Humans are stupid 


Aleesha: (05:46)

We are. We are. 


Janelle: (05:47)

Yeah. 


Aleesha: (05:48)

And you know, this topic that we spoke about too is we were saying how it can, uh, manifest in all different relationships and all different platforms and all different spaces. And so I'm gonna share a little bit about a beautiful experience I had yesterday and being a space holder, um, that we are Janelle and I together. And, uh, I, I entered a space with, um, over 30 women yesterday and up was beautiful. And I realized I, uh, my, I think when we shared our intention, my intention was to receive, cause I could feel the resistance around that. And what I realized was how hard it was for me to be, to be a student and to like, that was where the resistance was coming from, like in my body. And so I was like, okay, this is my sign to, to just sit and, and to, to take, be receptive, take in everything going on around me. 


Aleesha: (06:53)

And I felt so embodied in that space for the entire day, for that purpose. Like I wasn't having to turn up and be, or do anything. It was, I was just safe to be, be in my silence and receive everybody else's energy. And that felt uncomfortable. But I do realize that was part of the work. Mm. That was part of the way work. And it was what I went there for was to lean into some level of resistance. Yeah. Um, and I felt it prior to rocking up there. Yep. Um, and to me that was, so my body was telling me, yeah, you, you are struggling right now to be the student rather than the teacher. Yep. Which is what, where I, I sit comfortably the, to the leader of the guide, um, and to be a student, well, my body was like, this doesn't feel safe. Mm. And it told me, yeah, that again, part of the patterning around, um, not feeling safe to receive and being in that receptive energy and holding it for the whole day, it was such a nourishing heart filling expansive experience for me 


Janelle: (08:08)

And uncomfortable, you know? And I remember sitting with you in circle with some incredible other facilitators. Um, we decided the day before new year's Eve to hold a circle for facilitators, because, for that very reason, we need sometimes to be held rather than to hold all the time. But then someone tries to hold us and I'm like, oh no, I've got me. So I've got myself, that's all good. Um, and we set our intentions for the new year, and mine were to soften and to receive. So it's a really big focus for a lot of people this year to just soften and to receive. So we don't have to put out our, on, we don't have to forge through, we don't have to make it happen for ourselves. We can simply soft and say, this is hard. Can you help me? Mm. That makes me wanna vomit. Even when I say those words, I'm not there yet. I'll check in at the end of the year and see how it comes out. Yeah. But I'm working towards it. I am getting better at that. 


Aleesha: (08:59)

Like another thing I'm gonna open up and lead into here is what we talked about relationally. Yep. Receiving, mm. And the power of being receptive in a relationship as the feminine energy is that we power our, our husbands, our partners, the masculine energy to, to come in and be what they need to be. I feel like that's the space we need to create for them. Yes. Is the allowance of our, of ourselves to receive. And, and like I said, I talk a lot in energetic, so we might feel like we, we are being receptive and yeah, of course, I'm asking for what I want, but energetically, we are not open. And they're like, yeah, I'm still feeling the resistance, 


Janelle: (09:43)

A hundred percent feeling. And we shared this the other day. Um, so it's very, really my relationship where I've had to step up and do some things for certain reasons and whatever. And step into that masculine leader, it'll be okay. I'll tell, suffer through survival mode type thing. And I'm very deeply in my feminine, but still with that masculine undertone to go and do what I want. But I'm in frustrated with my husband. Who's gonna edit this later and listen to all about this. And he knows this. Ain't no shock to him. Um, with my husband about, I'm like just lead mate. Like, I don't wanna make all the decisions. Yeah. Like, why can't you just make a decision? Like, don't come back to me, and four guys like making decisions. And I'm like, not like that. And he is like, what the? 


Janelle: (10:23)

Like, and it's only really been, I reckon the last two to three weeks that he's found his groove in calling me out on my shit. So saying, and I'll put it in a story frame because I know that our human brains like stories to understand things conceptually. So, um, he was playing the gig. He took my car, cuz his, my, his car's been a little bit unreliable. He said my mom's coming. Um, just drive her car there yet. And I was like, no, cause that's me. I was like now. And he is like, my car's a little bit unreliable. Just drive mom's car. I've organized it with her. It's all good. And I was like, no, I don't want to. And he's like, you've asked me to lead, to take care of things that you don't wanna be bothered by mundane things that do not matter to you that take away from your creation and your power. You've asked me to do this. And then you're saying no. And I was like, And it's so uncomfortable for me because it's almost like I have been so feminist and like, the patriarchy. And like, I do what I want for so long. And I love that energy, but this is a safe relationship where I'm very, very safe to go. Okay. Why am I fighting a battle that does not need to be fought right now? And so he's actually shining a light on the areas where I'm being really resistant and I'm screaming at him to step up. But then I'm like not on that step, get back down 


Aleesha: (11:47)

Or not like that, 


Janelle: (11:48)

Not like that. So, um, and he actually said to me another, another little story he actually said to me, I said, oh, I don't know what to do about this blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, leave it like this. And I was like, no. And he said, you just come in and ask for my help. I gave you an answer. He said, no, he said, okay, can you just go and do this? And he said, yeah, I can next time. Can you just please ask me to go and do that? Cause what you're doing right now is asking me to read your mind saying no, no, no. To every other suggestion, other than reading your mind right now. So why can't you just ask for what you want? And I was like, don't talk to me like that. But then I said, that's fair. And I do still have that trouble to go, can you please do this for me? It feels weak, but it's not, it's my husband. I want him to do these things to me. So we really do block ourselves from what we say that we want. Yes. Or what we actually want as well. 


Aleesha: (12:46)

Yes. And like you said, there's this underlying, uh, theme of worthiness. That's like, I, I'm not worthy of having it. Um, and so as we've said in previous, uh, episodes, we can be our biggest hurdle to overcome. Like we can be the thing that's getting in the way. Absolutely. How often we are, the thing that gets in the way of our own receiving. 


Janelle: (13:10)

Yep. A hundred percent. 


Aleesha: (13:12)

Um, yeah. When it comes to bloody the, the relationship, the masculine-feminine relationships and the roles we play, I am now sitting in this whole, um, I have a lot of empathy for mm, masculine energy. They are copying a massive beating mm. Um, around the patriarchy and the system. 


Aleesha: (13:36)

And I, um, so I share that because I'm like, there's, there's always two sides to every story. And I feel like, of course there's, there is a need for some level of that energy. It's like, I don't ever wanna get to the point where we completely wipe them out and we don't have any, any foundation or any grounding or any stability, which is what I feel they do. And what I, what I realized this morning too, is that what, what I feel like we want. And I feel like it works both ways is an ability to be empowered, to be our best selves by them, but also an ability to lean into them for nurturing as well. We want them to be our safe space and our biggest cheerleader. 


Janelle: (14:20)

Absolutely. And for me, I want to be challenged as well. So as much as I resist again, said, I do like that. What are you doing? How's that gonna work? You know, because it's helpful to me to that challenge. And, and I've read something the other day is almost like making sense of the chaos. So like, I'm like this chaotic, chaotic, creative, like monster sea monster mermaid queen. That sounded really awful. But you know, and then Dan's like, great. How do we streamline this? How do we make it worth? And I also just wanted to jump in. If anyone listening, hasn't heard much about masculine and feminine energies. This is not male and female. This is not about our genders. So whether we are male, female, non-binary, we all have divine, feminine, divine, masculine energies that flow, there are both of our life-giving sources. So, um, whilst police and I are both referring to relationships with male and female, what we are encompassed in, um, this is present in all and every relationship 


Aleesha: (15:15)

A hundred percent. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for mentioning that. 


Janelle: (15:19)

Yeah. 


Aleesha: (15:20)

So it's really important. 


Janelle: (15:21)

Yeah. And so this is never about, you know, men, other leaders, and women should follow or anything like that. Um, it's very much the opposite in my household. Um, and whatever works for you is great for what works for you. But what I was finding was that I was so sick of making all the decisions, decision burnout, you know, and wanted to be free to float and create and design my life and my endeavors and my work and all this kind of stuff and, and do what I want when I want really. Um, but we need that structure around that for that to be able to happen as well. So, we can find that within ourselves too. So don't feel that you have to have a partner to, to be able to line up the divine masculine, divine, feminine energy. I feel like we've opened up a whole nother can of worms. 


Janelle: (16:03)

We talking about divine masculine, feminine energy, but let me just say, if you don't know anything about it, I understand this is quite confusing. Um, spirit showed me this in reading the other day to describe it. So if we picture a coloring book, beautiful Manda, a coloring book, or something like that, the divine masculine is the outline. It's the structure it's holding it together. The divine feminine is the beauty, the colors, the magic in the middle that's. So we need the structure. We can't all just have structure. It's a boring piece of paper, we of a couple of lines on it. Um, but when we can co-create with both of our energies, as in our own internal, masculine, feminine energy, that's when magic happens. 


Aleesha: (16:41)

But 


Janelle: (16:42)

What we see in relationships is the dynamic often with me, with you leash with lots of powerful women that I know is that we rise. Well, I go to what I want, and we might have to challenge, I guess, a role that we've played before. And then we're like, are you gonna rise with me? Or am I just gonna like resent you for not rising with me, but also not allow you to rise with me 


Aleesha: (17:05)

And resent. And, um, I, I think you kind of touched on this here is that the work essentially starts with us. So it starts with us integrating the healthy, masculine, feminine energies within us. Cause we all carry both. And the, more awareness we have of what healthy masculine energy feels and looks like to us, the more we can open up space to invite more of that in 


Janelle: (17:30)

Absolutely 


Aleesha: (17:30)

From our husbands. Cause I've had this conversation before with the masculine and, and um, to, to say, what do you need? What do you need from me? And he was like, well, I, I, I, I don't know. And I said, well, I kind of need to get clear on what it is that's gonna make you feel so that I can support you in creating that space. So I also realized that their level of, okay, I dunno, bias here, girls, women, females, uh, better communicators of course, 


Janelle: (18:03)

A hundred percent. That's not it. If anyone wants to challenge that, please let us know, contact us Instagram, um, a hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. And so 


Aleesha: (18:16)

It's almost like it's, I don't wanna, um, give him his answers. So it's more about, uh, empowering him to come up with what feel is right for him. So to create space, to say, you know what, it's okay to ask for what you need. And so communicate what that is. Give yourself some space and time to come up with what is for you. Cause I don't, I don't wanna say I've created this masculine space so that you can come in and lead, but it looks like I, how I expect it to look not how you would like it to look. And so then the communication has to come in. Um, but I also realized too, it goes back to our topic is that when we build the healthy relationship between our inner masculine and feminine, we also start to teach ourselves how to get more comfortable with receiving. 


Janelle: (19:09)

Yeah. And there safety in receiving because we're not constantly challenging, which I think was maybe what was going on in my life was, you know, stepping into that masculine structure, go get it, make everything okay. Allowing myself to drift into that softer feminine as well. And then going, hang on a minute, I still need that warrior in case goes wrong. I don't want them to, to get too complacent with lying down, you know? So if we can balance ourself, then we can be more receptive to being in balance with a partner 


Aleesha: (19:39)

Hundred percent. We call that energy in. Yeah. Like literally I've this is my, one of my things is be the change. So if you wanna have an aspect come into your life, a new aspect be change. 


Janelle: (19:51)

Yeah, absolutely. 


Aleesha: (19:53)

Yeah. Um, uh, again, back to our topic of receiving, we've spoken to the graciousness of it. And so allowing, allowing compliments and I I'm gonna speak into this right now because it's so common for like, it was common for me to have resistance to a verbal compliment, like from anybody. Like I can remember, I've got a story. I was at the gym and, um, beautiful PT, uh, woman. And I'd been training for probably several months there. And she came over to me and this was well before I started doing a lot of this work, but I remember her coming over to me and she said, um, wow, your arms look great. I, I, I noticed, you know, you've put some muscle on and I shut her down instantly. I was like, oh no, you know, I, I just denied it. I was like, no, I haven't changed. You know, there's no, you know, I was literally just shut down her compliment. And it was in that moment, I, I felt terrible. Cause I saw the look on her face and she was hurt. 


Janelle: (21:02)

Yes. 


Aleesha: (21:02)

And I was like, so this was me learning what it was to not gracefully receive somebody's love. 


Janelle: (21:11)

Mm they've got a platter of homemade cookies that they're handing to you and you're like hitting it down to the floor going, no, I don't like cookies. And they're just like, but I used to do that too. Don't be silly. Yeah. No I don't. You know, 


Aleesha: (21:27)

That was, and then I, I feel like, because obviously this wasn't part of her, she, she obviously was better at receiving, so yeah. It was very uncomfortable for her for, to receive my inability to receive. Um, and, and it, I went away really challenged and thinking about that like, oh geez, that really terrible. I felt like I had heard her by not receiving her, her kindness. It was kindness. She was trying to be kind and give me a compliment. And I was like, no, no, no, no. I think not me. 


Janelle: (22:00)

I think that opens up another can of worm for me, which we could just go down so many rabbit holes here today. Um, but in that we struggled to receive com implements about our bodies often. And I feel like maybe we shouldn't be getting compliments on our bodies. Um, because often they are, your arms are great. Now, like your arms are great, they've changed. And you're like, and we take that as I look like before my arms look like, and now they look good. And then, so that's why we can push the compliments away as well. But then what we can do is go, okay, people know, notice, don't go back to that version of yourself. Um, you know what I mean? So 


Aleesha: (22:33)

Yeah. 


Janelle: (22:34)

I love, yeah. You look healthy, you look fit, you look strong, let's not go into specifics. So maybe that was a lesson for her too, you know? 


Aleesha: (22:40)

Yeah. Well, yeah, to me, you know, that was my first lesson, some graciousness of receiving, cause I think I could have absolutely just said thank you and really receive that kindness. 


Janelle: (22:52)

Absolutely. 


Aleesha: (22:53)

But I, at that stage had, was still really learning what it was to have to graciously receive. 


Janelle: (23:00)

I was taught recently, um, that gratefulness and we know this gratitude changes. Our body just changes our body, our physiology, our physiology, our heart, everything, our body heals. When we feel gratitude and study recent studies have shown that it's not so much us being grateful for another, that has the most powerful effect. The most powerful effect is when someone is grateful for us. And we receive that attitude from them. Um, and we were in circle. It was actually down at the ice bath with cold con and Steve who runs. It said, I want you to talk about a time where someone has been grateful for you. And I was like, it was so uncomfortable. And normally I'm talking all the time, but I was like, I feel like a Winer for sharing this. This feels really like Tru to my own horn. I'm not comfortable with this. 


Janelle: (23:52)

And he's like, but in your work, people would say this to you all the time. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, do you fully receive it? And I was like, nah, I don't. I let it in the ego to go. Yes, you're a great psychic, medium. Awesome. I don't let it in the heart space. Um, the very next day when I was running my circle down at the ocean, um, my co-facilitator was like, just wanna say how grateful I am for you said this in front of everyone. And I was like, oh, and I'm so grateful for you. And he was like, no, no, no, no fully receive what I just said. And I was like, oh, okay. Cause often we will push away. Someone's gratitude. We, if you were to say to me, thank you. Like I love having you in my life. I'd be like, I love having you too. And I'm essentially letting it go in a little bit. And then I'm flinging it back to you like a table tennis ball instead of just taking it in. Mm 


Aleesha: (24:37)

Yes. Yes, yes. And another way to avoid receiving is to pass I've story here. Like, um, someone had donated money for me to participate in a course and they're like, here, I want you to be in this. And it was so hard for me to receive, but I did. I was like, oh, thank you. Thank you. I literally donated that money to somebody else to be in the two. So really I did not receive what I was doing was passing it on the next, 


Janelle: (25:06)

What we tell ourselves is that, oh, someone was kind to me, so I was kind to them, but, and that's beautiful, but you're always kind to people. So you didn't need to pass that on. You could have passed on in other ways you were like, this is a whole potato in my hands. Yes. Give it to someone else. Yeah. And it's how we sit with the unworthiness of receiving that. We do it often, you know, if a friend drops off a meal for you that they've cooked for you and your family instantly our minds, like, all right. I better make them a meal and drop it off at some point, instead of just thank you. Yeah. You know, 


Aleesha: (25:41)

Fully receiving it 


Janelle: (25:43)

Fully receiving. 


Aleesha: (25:45)

And so leading into the, now I wanna share some of the tools that I've used. Sure. O over, I think it's been probably a couple of years cuz the first, uh, like space that I tuned up in, which was a queen warrior space run by an end. And that was, I feel like near two years ago and in that space we had intentions for the program and my intention way back then was to learn how to receive. And I knew I had massive blocks back then. Um, which is why I say even still today, I'm still peeling layers back around 


Janelle: (26:18)

That it's long conditioning. It's lifelong conditioning, as we know. And I love that even just in sharing that, which you're just like, this is just me still learning that is so clarifying for the people listening that we do own undo lifelong conditioning through one course. Yeah. For one year it's constantly going back to go, I'm doing it again. Yes. You know? Yes, 


Aleesha: (26:37)

Yes. Um, and it might not be exactly the same way, but you differently like yeah. It's a different layer at times. So what I was invited to do on that course was to start asking for things every day and it wasn't, it wasn't about asking for things that I knew I could get. It was like allowing myself to be a bit challenging. So, and I mean, ask people, ask, you know, ask for things that you may get a note to. Yeah. And the reason why I share that as a tool to start, is that what I, what I learned very quickly was that my fear of the rejection yes. Of a no was what stopped me from asking. And so that it was a massive barrier to receiving. Cause if you never ask for anything, you never, you can never receive. Yes. And so it was teaching me about energetically, how I held myself in a position that just like a, it, it stunted my ability to ever receive because I'd never, I just never asked for anything. And so the 


Janelle: (27:42)

Said no. Yeah. 


Aleesha: (27:43)

So the, the more I lean into asking for something every day, whether I got it or not. And then so I did, I did get some no's and what I realized is the more I got comfortable with receiving no, um, yeah, the more comfortable I got with asking and the more comfortable you, you get with asking for things that the more comfortable you are with receiving. So it was definitely something I started to lean into was to ask for things more and, and be okay. And take, take note of how you respond to the responses, which is the receiving. Yeah. 


Janelle: (28:21)

It's really, it's, it's hard. It's very hard. And it's, you know, even just that age old, how are you? Yeah. I'm good. Even when you're not to share and then open yourself up to receiving can be hard. 


Aleesha: (28:32)

This is a huge one. And now I call myself out on this all the time now. Um, because when people say, how are you? And I'm literally having a day and my response will be, I'm fine. I'm good. Yeah. 


Janelle: (28:44)

And then I, and then we deflect and feelings, then we help attack them as well. 


Aleesha: (28:48)

So now, like, it may be uncomfortable for some, but I will say, I'll call myself out. I'm like, okay, I just lied. Sorry. I'm actually not good. But the thing is, I feel like we, we are scared to be honest in that way, because we are scared that others won't hold the vulner of, well, it's 


Janelle: (29:07)

Almost a fear of rejection as well, coming in there because if we're like, I'm actually so miserable and they're like, cool, have a good day. They wouldn't respond in that way, but energetically, they could, you know? Yeah. And then it's a fear of rejection again. So it's like, if you don't let anyone in, what I wanna add onto receiving is that if you are trying to manifest, but you have a block to receiving, you're not gonna get. The universe won't give you anything. Cuz you are saying that you want it, but you're not receiving it. And I had a very real incidence of this this year and it's something I'm fun fumbling through, um, was manifesting successful, killing it, killing it this year, open, warm, ready. Um, and I had a couple of negative incidents that run into people with ill intentions that caused me to just put a block up and then everything. 


Janelle: (29:55)

And I didn't realize it took me a while. Um, that all my manifestations stopped and everything was stopping my work was quite everything. And I didn't understand why, um, until I sat with myself, which I was actively avoiding, which we talked about in our last episode and I went, oh my God, I'm showing up in spaces where I'm not truly seen, I'm not safe to be held fully and I've closed myself off. So instead of just closing my myself off to two people, I closed myself off to everything. Energetically again, I went back into them. Don't need them only need myself, you know? Yeah. Um, so I'm still working out how to receive, but also push away the things that I don't want to receive if that makes sense as well. Yep. So yeah, I just wanted to check that in there to go, Hey, like why is receiving important? I can manifest the things I want manifesting is receiving. Yes, 


Aleesha: (30:51)

Yes. A hundred percent. And I mean, I, I love the examples too. You just shared around how, when, when something comes in to throw us off, we can, we can rebuild the walls that we've spent so much work really quickly time and effort and breaking down. And it, and it does because it's so conditioned that, that that's, the safety is like this wall goes up. Yep. But it's, uh, as much as it protects us. Yeah. It, it also blocks the blessings as well. So it 


Janelle: (31:21)

Blocks us in a glass box with thick shatterproof walls. So think can get in to hurt us, but nothing can get in to help us either. Yes. 


Aleesha: (31:28)

Yep. Yep. And then yeah, it can take a lot of work to start building, breaking them down again. Yeah. 


Janelle: (31:34)

Yeah. And I don't have the answer for that, but I think self-awareness is what gets us from there back out again, you know, hundred 


Aleesha: (31:41)

Percent. And that will be another topic for day I self mastery. 


Janelle: (31:45)

Yes. There's 


Aleesha: (31:47)

A million 


Janelle: (31:48)

Yeah. In here today. Absolutely. 


Aleesha: (31:51)

You're 


Janelle: (31:51)

You're, we're just like opening up cans of worm. It's like, I've got this whiteboard in my mind that it's like, Ooh, that one, then that one leads to that one. Then that one leads to, I love it. This is 


Aleesha: (32:01)

Why you're gonna have us for a while. 


Janelle: (32:03)

Exactly. So in summary, I guess, um, as tools to implement, moving forward for our listeners and for us as well as reminder. So if someone gives you a compliment in noticing yourself, gonna push it away and it can even be as simple as I love your dress. And you're like, thanks $2 the op shop. You know what I mean? That's 


Aleesha: (32:24)

Me. 


Janelle: (32:24)

Yeah. And I, and that's kind of pushing it away, but it's also kind of like, oh mate, two bucks. How good am I? You know, what a 


Aleesha: (32:31)

Score. 


Janelle: (32:31)

Yeah. And it's almost relatable to the other person cuz you're like, mate, I am not this icon. Like I just literally found it, you know, but we can 


Aleesha: (32:39)

Also downplay the receiving again. 


Janelle: (32:41)

Yeah. We can also say thank you. You know, I think that, that was really hard for me just to go. Thank you. Um, cuz it felt uncomfortable, but that's the best thing that we can do. Would you add anything else onto that? 


Aleesha: (32:52)

Yeah. Like, because I was talking about the circle that I attended yesterday and receptiveness to me was like literally shutting the up. Like literally just sitting there and allowing my like just in the silence, allow myself to receive. Yes. Can be as simple as like just shut up. Just 


Janelle: (33:12)

Shut up. Yeah. No. 


Aleesha: (33:15)

Yeah. And you don't need to fill all these spaces, continue to fill all these spaces with your energy. Where, where do you get a chance to receive? Mm. Like you, so just to sit there and not really take up space. So which is the opposite to like, we kind of pull people out of these self love journeys where, where they're not taking up enough space cuz they they're stuck in this small container. Um, but yeah, so that this is another aspect of it. It's like, okay, it's you don't have to take up all the space. And if you allow yourself to be open, you can receive, it's not like closing yourself down, just stay, stay open. 


Janelle: (33:52)

And it is vulnerable. That's the word that just keeps popping up in my mind is it is vulnerable to receive rather than give it is vulnerable. You, I have to be in a safe. So if you're not feeling safe within yourself and safer within your environment, then you're not gonna be able to receive either. So it's really like balancing, it's like this recipe. Right. And you just gotta keep trying until you get it right. Keep baking the cake. 


Aleesha: (34:13)

And I know we, we are talking today around, um, the resistance to receiving, but I also wanna point out that, um, not everything is for you. Yeah. And so you have the power to say yes or no when something comes your way too. Um, so yeah, I think we can lose our, our voice when we feel like we, we don't have the power to say yes or no. And it's like, we are forced to have to take whatever comes our way all the time. So there's, there's so much power also in learning that we can say no, that not everything is, is always for us. 


Janelle: (34:55)

Yeah. And so you are in, you are always in control, even if you are receiving, you can be like, no. Yes. Thank you. Instead of just a blanket, you it, no thanks. 


Aleesha: (35:03)

Yeah. Yes. Which is what we, we can be fallen into that pattern very easily. 


Janelle: (35:08)

And I feel, um, even when it comes to receiving more something that our friend Sophie who's coming on in our next episode, um, had said to me once when I sent her a compliment via Instagram, she said, thank you. I'm fully receiving this. And I was like, wow, I like that. You know? Cause I just imagined her just being like, yep, bring it in close. And it felt really received than like, thank you. So are you, which is often what I will respond back with, you know, because we feel like we have to, or we feel like we wanna deflect that. So I love that as well. Thank you. I'm fully receiving this, you know? Yes. I like that. 


Aleesha: (35:52)

I think when we label or uh, verbalize, articulate, um, our actions we give, we give them life. We give them more meaning. Um, and I think it's quite empowering to share that with somebody else as well, that, that you are fully receiving whatever it is they're giving, um, their 


Janelle: (36:14)

Actions have been taken to heart instead of just thanks for those words. That's nice. See you later. Just those knowing that it's penetrated a little bit deeper and they're accepting that compliment about themselves, like she's a powerhouse and I was like. Yeah, that's a, so Sophie thing to do, you know it's 


Aleesha: (36:31)

Yeah. These are, I guess, um, positive triggers. I couldn't think of a better way to say that. And I mean 


Janelle: (36:37)

It, well, no, it was a bit of a trigger cuz I was like, what do you mean? Like that it, it was a little bit in my mind that was like, oh that's not a normal response. You know? Um, but I was like, I love that. And I use that myself now to be like, I am honoring what you just said about me. Yeah. I'm honoring that. I'm accepting that. I'm not gonna argue with you. I am a legend you and how open does that sound? It's fully received. Thank you. I'm gonna honor that. That is, and now in a child and in a voice it's like, yeah. Instead of us going, oh, don't be silly, you know? Yeah. Well it is pull it into soul plexus. 


Aleesha: (37:14)

I love that. You mentioned the inner child because a lot of our resistance to receiving is stemming from there 


Janelle: (37:22)

And that's just actually shown me in a way that's quite confronting. So, um, you know, imagine an eight year old little girl in front of you might be someone that, you know, I have a daughter who's eight. Um, and someone saying, oh my God, she looks so pretty today. And I'm like, oh yeah, she always looks like that. Push it away. You're doing that to your inner child that sits in your solar plexus as we all have a child that's functioning as part of us. So we don't wanna do that anymore. 


Aleesha: (37:48)

No. And so that's another powerful way to work on receiving is to see whatever it is that you're rejecting 


Aleesha: (37:57)

As, as it coming from a action space. If you are at a child. Yeah. Tap into that. And I feel like that's what I did this morning when I said I was holding my solar plexus and I was telling myself that I was worth and I'm telling myself that it's okay and that I'm safe. Um, and then, then the words were, you are safe to receive. So I was literally doing that for myself this morning. And so I feel like that's a massive, like, um, a massive tool that if, if you're gonna start working on learning to receive, tap into that part of yourself and the resistance that might come up when 


Janelle: (38:33)

Yeah, absolutely 


Aleesha: (38:34)

Is coming your way. 


Janelle: (38:35)

I've actually got a playlist on Spotify called um, manifestation and magnetism and lots of the songs in that are around receiving. Um, so lots of the words in that, in the, in the lyrics and the songs around that are around receiving and things coming to us and attracting things in. So, um, we might drop a link actually under, underneath this episode for that. Cause I find that's really helpful. Like the songs that we listen to, they train our subconscious. So, you know, I love rap. I love, you know, Phil music. I, I love all that kind of stuff. There's so many different sides of me. I'm like a kaleidoscope, I don't know. But um, I, without a doubt, listen to my manifestation and magnetism playlist every day, just to allow those beautiful affirmations. It's another way of using affirmations really to come through, you know? 


Aleesha: (39:19)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, definitely. 


Janelle: (39:21)

Yes. And if you think about the work that we have to undo to go things slow easily, there's a lot, you want something, you go work hard and I I'll share with you something funny and then I'll wrap it up. Cause we'll talk way too long all the time. Um, I remember there was like a saying people had this quote, like good things come to those who wait. And then like I had like book purchased a print with a crossed out version. So good thing though, it comes to those who crossed out, go out and get it. That was like my energy. And I was so proud of that energy. That was like, no, if you want something, you go and get it and you make it yours masculine go. You know? And I still have that. I have that ability, but I also understand that I can just have a little thought that goes, I might like to receive that one day. Hmm. Maybe I'll look at a plan later and then that's arrived to me without me doing anything. It doesn't have to be as hard as we needed to be as we're making it, you know? Mm. But that's a whole nother episode 


Aleesha: (40:21)

As well. It is. Cause my mind is already like wondering. 


Janelle: (40:25)

Yep. 


Aleesha: (40:26)

The ability to receive has got a lot, like we said at the start, it's got a lot to do with, um, manifestation and allowing ourselves 


Janelle: (40:35)

To 


Aleesha: (40:37)

Have an idea of what is it. It is that we wanna receive too. Getting clear on that. 


Janelle: (40:47)

It's all good. Awesome. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. We hope we've given you a little bit of permission to receive your safe, to receive. And we as always, we give you permission to do whatever the hell you want and if that's receiving, go for it, um, we will drop the link to the Spotify playlist in the comment section. And we will talk to you soon. Thanks for listening. 


Aleesha: (41:09)

Thank you.