The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast

#07 - Is This All There Is? w/ Life Purpose Coach, Lena Moxon [Interview]

February 10, 2022 Janelle & Aleesha
The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast
#07 - Is This All There Is? w/ Life Purpose Coach, Lena Moxon [Interview]
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, we chat with self-expression and life-purpose coach Lena Moxon.

Lena spends her life living and breathing her purpose, sharing her medicine, mindset and motivation,  to empower women to take their own unique path to the top of that happiness mountain. 

Lena shares her story of at one point in her life, outwardly having it all - but despite her business success, feeling deeply unhappy and having that "is this all there is? moment.

She shares with us the tools to rebuild a life that is truly authentic, and right for you.

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Janelle (00:00):
Today, we welcome a very special guest Lena Moxon to our podcast. Lena is a certified life purpose and self-expression coach who works with women to step into their purpose and their inner power more deeply. And without apology, she is raw and real and incredibly, no. And we are so here for this conversation. Welcome, Lena.

Lena (00:20):
Can I just say my heart is like beating out of my chest right now? And I know it's not because I'm nervous because I'm never nervous. I think it's because I'm really aware that you guys are bringing it and are potentially gonna ask me the kinds of questions that I just crave. And so I just feel very, like, I don't know, like I'm about to run a race.

Janelle (00:42):
Go. Let's go, let's go. It's always nice to be introduced as well. I used to write the intro after, but then I was like, now let's say it in front of them. And so they're like, yes, this is me. Let's go.

Lena (00:55):
Yeah. I love that. And I don't mean to hijack this right now, but I saw online, there was a seminar or a conference, something like that. It was overseas. And one of the exercises that the woman facilitating it did was she got everybody to stand up and they were reading their own receipts. And so they started by having to stand up and talk about what they had experienced within themselves as themselves of themselves in their life. And I guess it was kind of a, like, I've been there that, I'm still that. Oh,

Janelle (01:24):
That makes me so deeply uncomfortable, straight away. I'm like, yeah, probably something I need to do. Mm.

Aleesha (01:32):
And this is, this is who I am. I'm like, where's those butterflies, that feeling I lit up. When you said you had these feelings in your body, cuz I'm like, I know those feelings they Teeter on and excitement, but for me when I've got them, I'm like, I know I'm in the right place right now.

Janelle (01:48):
Yes. So today we're talking about finding, I guess, that power and that beauty in the transformational process. And that's something that I struggle with cuz I'm always looking for no, we, we pat ourself on the back, when we've done the things, when we've been through the transformation, when we've completed that and Lena you've been coaching me for the last six weeks and it's been amazing and you've really helped me to see that. Like we're never done. It's always messy. It's always dirty. It's always gritty and that's okay. And that's been incredible. Thank you for that. Thank you

Lena (02:17):
I always, when a woman tries to say to me, like thank you for what you have unlocked the or made available for me within myself. My impulse is always to like throw it straight back to her and say, you only make yourself available for what you allow. So any coach, any guide, any mentor, any teacher knows, we can only do what the person in front of us is making themselves available for, what they are allowing. And I see a lot of work in being creating and supporting women in creating a container for transformation to occur, not the entire transformation, but to understand what it actually means to create a container & to courageously turn on the awareness that allows them to see whatever it is they're trying to transform. So we need the container. We also need the thing that we're trying to transform.

Lena (03:08):
So it could be a belief system. It could be patterns. It could be ways of being to have the awareness and get clear on what it is that needs to transform within them. And then to learn how to courageously take action with conviction, with belief, with the certainty that we actually desire in our lives to move confidently. And I'd just like to be very clear that when we decide to change something about ourselves, about our lives, when we feel the nudge for more, not necessarily better, just make different, just expanding in a new way to have more. Sometimes we think that completion is the only place that we are allowed to verify and validate our own efforts in our own being. And my experience has been that all the magic occurs within transformation occurs within the messy magic. And I think as I say this, you are both. And I know everybody listening will nod and say yes, logically, I understand that, but we forget that.

Janelle (04:07):
We do. Yeah. And that's what we were just saying off before is that I am so encouraging of that in other women. But in myself, I don't, I hold myself to a totally different standard, which is really hypocritical and that's what I'm working on. But it's that kind of, when do we stop transforming anyway, and both of you know me so well now and know that I will not. So I will not get to a place and go I'm here. I have arrived. I'll be like, what's next. Even before I'm up on that ledge fully, I'll be like, but where's the next ledge up to this? So it never ends. So celebrating the transformation process I think is so powerful. And I love this topic.

Aleesha (04:41):
There's something you just mentioned there that I think is probably really valuable to mention you were saying something about you. You haven't actually fully landed on the, the next level and you're chasing the one after sometimes that's, that's a problem too. If we don't allow ourselves to land in each level that the foundation to continue to grow, it is a little bit shaky. That that's what I've found that I guess that's the integration process.

Janelle (05:06):
That's your projector self and that's my, my manifesting generator going next.

Aleesha (05:13):
I think that's also why we work so well together. I need a lot more of what that go, which you pull me through a lot. And then yeah, guess maybe that's what I do for you.

Janelle (05:22):
You settle me, you settle me. And I just wanted to point out as well. If anyone that's listened to two episodes back to back is our last episode was about receiving. And did anyone pick up that? I was like, thank you, Lena. And you were like, no, thank you. And I'm like, no fully receive your power. I fully accept. And I know that as facilitator, working with people that if someone's not ready to bring their, then I can't do anything for them. You know, I can't, I'm not gonna do anything for them. And so I, I value that, but like also value you and just be like, yes, I am a boss. Like I am Bringing this to the table. I created this space.

Lena (05:56):
Thank you. I do. I feel, I feel that. And I know that and I'm really owning that of myself. Yeah, I am. For a long time, I have known that there is a fierceness within me that I, I suppose, allows me to come into conversation or a coach capacity or a container with somebody and help them see that the obstacles become the strategy. If that old cliche of like, whatever we're resisting is, is the way forward. And I do like in quite a powerful, no. Let's shine the light on it. Let's see things as they are not as to be, and let's get to work. And for a long time, I kind of worried or feared that my energy, my thought process, my way of being was going to overwhelm potentially intimidate potentially I guess, make women feel that I don't know.

Lena (06:56):
I, I guess I, it being described to me as being kind of like a type and being very kind of like structured and rigid, but because I genuinely do things from a place of love and a genuine desire to allow women to see just how necessary they are, just how much they matter, just how much their unique, energetic signature needs to be written across this lifetime. Being told that I was like forceful. It, it didn't fit well with me for a long time. I think I diluted myself and I made it feel like I was I like to use the analogy of like being on a mountain. And I feel like 15 is of devotion to my own inner work, applying and understanding the processes, the strategies, the modalities that supported me in letting go of who I thought I had to be and owning and reclaiming who I am to be and who I am becoming has put me in a really beautiful position in my life where I feel like I have overcome lot of just the conditioning, a lot of the that we have just absorbs from our, our own upbringing, from society, from things that were never truly intended for us.

Lena (08:09):
And I'm on the other side of the mountain. I see myself, I see the world, I see potential in a different way. And I always felt like for the woman that was on her way, know, navigating her own journey too, that I had to come back down the other side of the mountain and stand beside her. So she didn't feel like I was pushing her. I was rushing her. I was whatever. And so I would walk beside her and I would take her pace and I would speak her language and I would basically mirror what she was experiencing. And I felt like that was support. What I have come to understand is that standing in my own power means that what I'm actually reflecting, isn't making women feel like what they are experiencing is wrong or not enough, or that they should be moving or speaking in a different way.

Lena (08:54):
But just to kind of highlight that there is another way of being that is empowered. That is unapologetic, that is filled with just complete, I guess, acceptance and love and celebration for who you are. And so I stand now at the top of the mountain and I shine bright and I speak nice and loud so that you can hear me from where you are and you know, to keep going. So I thank you for calling me out on, not accepting cause in that. Right. I literally, the visual I get of myself is like running back down the mountain and I'm not, that sounds terrible. Cause I'm not saying I'm in a higher position than no. I know what you mean. Yep. But yeah, just fully owning and claming the parts of us that we know to be true. And we know to be powerful, even if there are other things that we're working on within us, other things that we know are a little bit wobbly when we have that one expression that feels true. That feels real. That feels necessary. That we hold up a megaphone and we speak about it and we speak loud and we let other women hear us in our purpose, in our passion. I think it's

Janelle (09:56):
Really interesting what you said about running back down the mountain or standing on top of the mountain and it didn't come across in the way that you were like, oh no, I hope it didn't sound like that. But I feel like, you know, when we discussed this a little bit yesterday in that moment in your life where you went, I don't want this or I want more. And then you started to rebuild. There's so many women that are at that point now that you were that go, I don't, I don't want this, what do I do? Where do I go? And that is your mountain. That's the mountain that you have climbed. And as you said before, this I'll bear that you burn everything down to the ground and you start it again. Do you wanna dive into that in a little bit? Do you wanna tell us about that experience? And

Lena (10:29):
Yeah. So I just first wanna say that my story, my perspective is one that is dripping in proof. So I just wanna acknowledge that my story is mine and I own it and I fully own that. It is my perspective, but I'm also really aware that the struggles that I speak of are nothing in comparison to what other beings face in this lifetime. So I just like to put that out there so that I can just openly and authentically share my story with the acknowledgement and awareness of the privilege that this story does drip with. So I, I suppose my upbringing not dissimilar to anybody else has been imprinted by many things that have impacted me and influenced me in ways that I'm still trying to unravel and uncover and disassociate I myself from. But I suppose the power of transformation was shown to me really when I was about 27 years old, I was married to my first husband.

Lena (11:27):
We had met when we were 18 years old and together we built incredible businesses, incredible success and incredible lifestyle. And I really got to, we just, how powerfully you could set a goal follow through and then set another goal and how you could collapse timelines with your own drive and determination. And there was a part of me that really appreciates just how much I have witnessed that you can build something from nothing. And so I spent over a full decade building this life that I thought would bring me success. And I thought success was going to necess would absolutely bring me kind of the fulfillment that I wanted in my life. And I looked around at about 27 year, years old. And I looked at my life and I looked at everything that I had and I just, it wasn't one moment. It was, I call it like a slow graying over time that the things that had once excited me, the things that had motivated me suddenly didn't seem so shiny or exciting anymore.

Lena (12:28):
And everything just started to gray out. The struggle that I had was that I looked around at my life and I was very aware of the privilege that I had. And I was very aware that there was actually nothing wrong with this. There was nothing wrong. I had businesses that were operating successfully and providing for, for me and our staff members. I had a relationship that that was safe and secure. He was a good man. He's a great person, but we were having no sex. We could have a deep level of intimacy. There was no connection and conversation that was inspiring me there, there just wasn't that, you know, I'm squeezing my hands together. It, it was fine. It was good. But I just started asking myself, is this all there is, and how did I even decide that I wanted this for myself? When I really reflected what I realized was a lot of the decisions that I had made for myself.

Lena (13:19):
I had made in my early twenties. And I had made based on really desperately wanting the validation and approval of the people around me that I loved and respected. And so I realized I had kind of built my life based on a blueprint that I hadn't even. Yep. So I was really successful at implementing, but had I been really successful in using my own imagination and intuition to build the life that I'd created and the answer to that was no. Mm. And I was kind of horrified that I felt like I was like stuck in this exist that I had very much been a part of creating that I didn't like. And so this went on for a few years that I just felt completely stuck, lost alone isolated because I never spoke to anybody about how I was feeling because I just didn't think anybody would understand that I was unhappy.

Lena (14:13):
Yeah. and so I started to self destruct at that time because I was looking for ways to kind of just disconnect and detach from my own experience of self and life. I didn't want to be there. So not that I logically or consciously made the decision to do this, but I started experimenting with different ways to not be there. So I started self-medicating I being in relationship with people that were a really bad influence on me and kind of like really energetically brought my vibration right down until I became a person that didn't give a about what I was doing and who it was impacting and, you know, the comic effect of the choices that I was making. And yeah, I, I mean name a thing and I was kind of doing it and not caring, not caring. And I would take myself overseas because again, I could afford the luxury of saying like, this.

Lena (15:10):
I'm gonna book myself a ticket and disappear. And I was very good at disappearing and I would call it going on retreat. I would make it sound really spiritual and interesting and like, Ooh, am I such a, you know, deep person for doing this soul searching when really it was just an excuse to disappear and to not have anybody contact me and to not have to give the details of where I was going. And this one particular time I was sitting on a beach on an island in Thailand, and I looked around me and it was perfection, like perfection, like a scene from a movie paradise, right? The sun, the coconut, the sand, the sights, the smells, and I was miserable, miserable. And I realized in that moment, there wasn't any environment that I was gonna find myself in. There wasn't any circumstance, external of me, there was nothing that I could do to stimulate myself from the outside that was going to fix the way that I felt within myself.

Lena (16:05):
And that was scary. That was scary because I had this moment that I looked around and I thought, oh my God, I'm not available for pleasure, for joy, for love, for any good stuff in life. And there was the thought process of, well, what the, the point? Yeah. If you can't feel the good stuff, what are you doing here? And there's a big amount of grace in my life for the voice, for the download for the intuition that said to me, just keep going. There is more, there is more for you. And at a time that I could not see how there was going to be more because it felt like I had to sacrifice so much and that I was gonna have to suffer through so much to have more that was pretty courageous to find myself standing up in my life and deciding that uncovering the true essence of who was wanting to know the true name and nature of my existence was more important to me than maintaining the facade of success that I had created.

Lena (17:02):
And that I was willing to look like a failure I was willing to for flat on my face in front of everybody. I was willing for people to call me names and to say things about me. And I felt like people were going to revel in seeing me fall, I guess, from the success that I had created. And I chose that for myself and I, and I decided I had the belief that the success that I was going to experience in my life as a being that was it just fully expressed from the base of my own being the success that I wanted was actually going to look nothing like the success that I had created. And so I was okay with losing it all. And so I did, I kind of just owned my, firm it all to the ground in a way that meant there was no way of turning back. I confessed to all my sins, so to speak. And I found myself with nothing basically,

Janelle (18:01):
That is so powerful. That is so powerful. And you know, the almost apology for saying, this is a story of privilege. It's such a powerful story, but because as we have discussed so many women would've looked at you and gone, what are you ING about? You have everything. Like if I run businesses, you know, if I was married and if I could travel overseas, I'd be so happy. And the happiness doesn't come from that, you know, and I've chased that too. I've chased the successful business and being really successful monetary wise and, and like turnover and operations and being miserable, like stuck to the point of like, yuck, I don't want this anymore. And yeah, people on the outside were bit why? Cause I don't want it anymore. I don't like it. It's not the way I wanna leave. And that takes so much bravery to go. Yeah, I have everything on paper, but like yuck, you know what I mean? I'm gonna throw it away.

Lena (18:53):
And I think a lot of it had to do with allowing the things that I had achieved, the things that I created speak for me, the business spoke for me, the relationship spoke for me. I let those things present to the world who I was, what my worth was. My value was what my necessity was. And I just wasn't okay with that. They were great businesses. It was an okay relationship. Wasn't reflective of my true essence. No, I have gone on to recreate the same level of financial success that I had experienced in my twenties. I've done that again in my thirties. And at times I have found myself feeling really frightened because I will witness myself experiencing things that are reflective of what I have experienced in my past. And I think, oh, am I setting myself up to kind of, you know, feel the same way again.

Lena (19:45):
And, and the answer honestly is no because of the connection and really relationship that I have with myself and that I have with spirit and that I have with the innate greatness that is in all of us. And so the decisions that I make, the things that I create, the offerings that I show up and share, come from a place of absolute necessity of my being. I know what's coming through me now, if that it's given, it's asked it's required. So I show up and I do that powerfully. I'm not doing things because I wanna be seen in a certain way, or I wanna achieve something. Or I think that there's some other place, some other way of being some figure in my bank account or some title on Instagram or some blue tick somewhere that's gonna make me, you know, verified in my own sense. Everything that I do now comes from a place of the verification that I have claimed for myself.

Janelle (20:37):
I love that that's so I don't even have anything to say, like speechless, what, I don't even have anything to say other than just, just to, to take that in. It's

Aleesha (20:47):
So powerful. It is a powerful story. And I just actually wanna acknowledge you for sharing particularly. I was so in it listening while you were sitting on a beach and acknowledging in that moment of potential bliss, for some people that you were at your lowest point, and it, it was vitally clear to you at that moment, what is gonna change for me to be happy? If all of all of this that seems like magic is, is not doing it for me, what is it? So that's my question is what do you feel made the difference afterwards? So how did you get out of that? What was the next

Lena (21:25):
Steps? I think the fir the, the first step was courageously declaring for myself. Like, what am I done doing? What am I absolutely done doing what doesn't light me up, what doesn't serve me, what actually feels like. And I just got really clear and I sat almost with that as an inquiry question for quite a while, I'd say like a full month. I just allowed myself actually to feel the pain that I had been repressing, because there was so much wisdom in the pain. And I had been so busy trying to distract myself and deny myself of the suffering of the struggle of the pain of all of that, that I actually didn't know what needed to change. I, I just knew. I felt like. So courageously, I think sitting with yourself and inviting the pain into conversation was the first step, which actually seems counterintuitive. Usually if we realize and acknowledge, I'm unhappy, I wanna change. The first thing we wanna do is okay, well, what can I do to not feel this way?

Janelle (22:26):
That's me. Yeah.

Lena (22:30):
That's a lot of us, right. That, that, that is a lot of us. And there's something to be said for that too. Right. It's, it's kind of trying to navigate the balance between like, do I sit and I allow myself to feel this, or do I change my state right now and create a new experience for myself? And I think it's both. Yeah. But I, if you truly know for yourself that you see and you witness repeated patterns, cycles within your life, ways of being, and feelings and experiences that keep occurring no matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter who you're with, then you really need to sit with yourself and invite that pain, that discomfort, to inform you, to show you, to show you what you need to bring an end to, to make a space for what might even come next. Yes.

Janelle (23:14):
And that's what a lot of women in particular do is they don't make the space. They just try and add two. So then like their whole life is so jampacked that they're exhausted me included. So it's like, hang on. What do I need to get rid of first? And that's scary right. To create. This is pretty scary.

Lena (23:32):
It feels like grief.

Aleesha (23:34):
Mm. I think I shared that. And that was my, our first step was saying that that process is it's, it's lonely as my description of it. It is so lonely when you have to strip everything back. But I do feel like it's important because by stripping it all back, we get that ability to witness and feel. And because when we are not stripping it all back, parts of the things that we are holding onto are blocking our ability to sit in the pain. And so the discomfort, which is what you were saying is your key messages to allow yourself potentially to start feeling the things so that you can move through them and pass them. Cause, cause also I feel like when we get caught up prior, like you said, sitting on the beach and landing there, there's a whole process of avoiding the feeling that's got you there. And so you go through this. Okay. Really? Okay. If I'm avoiding the feeling and that's how I got here, maybe I need to start feeling this. But when I say that, it's like, it sounds easier than it is to, to just start feeling, you know, if you've conditioned yourself to go, no, no, no, we do this and this. And we build up all these different tools and skills to not feel, how do I start stripping it all back to allow myself to deal with the thing that I'm trying not to deal with,

Lena (24:55):
Particularly as well. If you have allowed yourself to start consuming substances that help you to do that. We literally, like, I, I remember, I, I didn't even know what I thought or felt because I just had allowed myself to be so disconnected. Like I was a, a very high functioning zombie walking through my life. So I love that you have brought that to life. That it is, it's not just, like we say, okay, I wanna feel now. And we, and we feel it is an unraveling. It is a process. And I think that's why as women are coming forward now in speaking, because it is so challenging and it is so difficult. And for a lot of us, I think I know for myself that time on the beach, wasn't the first time that I had this kind of like come to Jesus moment.

Lena (25:39):
Mm. It was the first time I tell that story because it was from that point that I followed through. There'd been so many other times in my life that I, I had witnessed myself doing something or I had just had a thought that was so clear, like has to change. And I would try and change and fire out. It hurt, or it felt too hard. Or I felt too stuck or I didn't know. And so I stopped, I judged it as wrong. I judged my desire as wrong. And I said, just stay where you are. It's fine. Where you are, because it doesn't hurt as much as taking those initial steps through your own transformation does. And I think, I hope, and I know there will be women that are hearing us say this, that know they are in a circumstance, the situation, a way of being within themselves that needs to change.

Lena (26:24):
And every time they go to change it, they hit a roadblock straight away. There's like closed doors. There's like fire in front of you. And you think there is no way through this. And I suppose my message is that there is, and it will hurt and you will cry and you will scream and you will shed layers of yourself. You didn't even know were there, but when you do, and when you get to the other side of that, I think for me, I have got to this place within myself, that a lot of the fear that I had around what I could survive, what I could tolerate, what I could kind of put myself through has dissolved and dissipated, because I just know that even through hard things, I can love myself through it. And I won't deny myself the experience of being in struggle and being in challenge and sacrificing anymore. I, I can be a woman that says, this is hard. You can do hard things. And sometimes it is worth it to do the hard thing to get you to the other side, whatever it is you need to move through.

Janelle (27:26):
Mm. And what I, what I see, keep visualizing in my mind for you is like, you were on top of a mountain, right? You were on top of a mountain, that particular one. And you were like, I don't like this mountain. This is not my home. So then it's like, you had to go all the way down to the bottom and then climb all the way back up and found your mountain right this year. Like, this is my home. This is where I'm meant to be. So sometimes it's like, okay, I've climbed to the top. There's nowhere higher to go. Where do I go? Mm. But even just having the ability to like on the climb go, this is not what I want. Cuz so many people get stuck in, like when I get to the top, I'll be happy. This feels wrong to me. But when I achieve everything, that's on my I list here. I'll be happy. And I feel like your story is proof that like, if you don't follow those NIS along the way, like you're not gonna be happy at the top. It's not magical. I love that. Start again. Yeah. Yeah.

Lena (28:16):
The other one thing, sorry, Alicia. The other one thing I just wanna add while I'm thinking of it is you really need to understand how powerful the belief that you have have that what is coming for you is meant for you and to feel really good about that is so important because as we climb those of us that really get to the Heights of our own expansion and our own expression and the true essence of who we are, have had to learn to climb without a rope, right? We have learned kind of like crawl our own way and find those little rocks to hold onto. There's been no support system behind us helping us. We've done it ourselves. And I think understanding that the risk involved, I suppose, in true transformation, can't be mitigated. Like there is always going to be a high level of risk that you are taking for yourself as yourself. When you decide where you are, is not where you want to be. And you're manifesting as you go, right? Like you're doing it through action. So much of what I hear about women talking about their desires and manifesting is all just talk and it doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't even matter what you visualize or how you feel. It's what you actually do from that place. But I'd just like to highlight it is action taking that is messy, but that's kind of the magic of it, you know? Yeah.

Janelle (29:37):
It that's the progress. And I say that often I'm like, unfortunately manifestation is not asking for a million dollars and have someone knocking on your door and going, here's your million dollars cuz I would have that. Trust me. I would have that right now. It's about going, this is what I want. And then taking steps towards that and watching doors open as you walk through them instead of having to kick them down and if you're having to kick them down, then they might not be right for you. Yeah. Whereas I used to be really stubborn and be like, I'm getting through the store. If I have to set fire, talk to walk through it, I will. Instead of taking the message that maybe that's not right for you, Janelle, maybe we are nudging you, you know? Mm,

Aleesha (30:12):
No. I love how we share polarizing views here because mine, I guess we say this a lot quite different. I, 100% would say I was a fence that my entire life because if I sat on the fence and I never chose, then I eventually got pushed. I got pushed and I didn't get to make a choice about how it was going to look, whether it was going to be good or bad at the end of the day. It didn't matter. It was like, I didn't get a choice cuz I just would sit on the fence. And that was where a lot of my pain was. A lot of my pain was not taking ownership of my own choices. And so as I said, the universe would just push me and be like, okay, you don't wanna choose. You're just gonna have that. And often it was a lesson falling on my face. So what I, but what I started to lose learn when I became more empowered to make choice, is that it was okay to it up. It was okay to make a choice to not get it. Right. and that taught me that I got safer and safer to actually take action because it was the inaction, the sitting on the fence that hurt that hit me the most, just

Janelle (31:15):
Staying in that spot. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Aleesha (31:17):
But like you were saying, you'd like, I sometimes kick the door down whether I wanted to open it or not. Yeah. Or like, no, I don't even want to go near the door. I'm just gonna sit here. And some, somehow something will force me to have to take a door and that's, that's how I was. And that's,

Janelle (31:32):
And that's me come through this door, I've opened the door, get your through before it's late. Thank you. And that's, you know, it's really interesting because I always pull cards before a session. I just flipping what's our intention. Right. And these cards, I doubted them Lu because I was like, that's not Lena's story. And the cards were grief. That was the first one, but that's a huge part of your transformation. Right? The next part was indecision. And I was like, this makes decisions. This is not her, but that probably was you in that moment. You're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm not gonna do that anymore. And the other one was loneliness and I was like, whoa, wow. At least you message you. You mentioned loneliness before. And I was like, what? And then I was like, I'm gonna pull one more and it's friendship. And I feel like that is our biggest thing that pulls us through, but we can't have friendship without like I used to try and do friendship without the grittiness, like with I'm great. How are you? Let me support you. Instead of letting anyone see me in my mess, chaos, moodiness. And it's so powerful. So I, I love that. So I doubt at the universe, even in this moment and I work with the universe every day, literally pays my bills. Incredible.

Lena (32:47):
We know you're powerful, but I, I have full body goosebumps right now because I feel like those cards are reflective of Le in her twenties that felt like nobody can see any of yeah. Yeah. And I think if I, if I had seen you during that time, I would've been hoping and praying and begging please pull cards like that. So I can be validated in how I'm feeling. So to have that come through and then to have the friendship card pulled after that. I think a lot of my healing has been in understanding that my pain struggle has been given to me potentially in this life so that I could tute it and that I could transcend it and that I could courageously and just overshare in the way that I have always done to connect more deeply with the woman that is still finding her voice to say like help.

Janelle (33:39):
Well, I oversharing as you put, it is not oversharing. And that's essentially what we're here to do, which is give permission to other women to go, you know what, I'm also unhappy in my quotation perfect life, or, you know, I am also UN unapologetic about being messy or transforming or not being quite there yet. It's giving permission and we can't do that if we're not deeply raw. So thank you.

Aleesha (34:04):
I just also wanna wanna touch on. So that, that last snippet that you shared there was about giving permission to other women. And I realized when you were saying that the reason why you are empowered to do that for other women is cuz you did that for your yourself. And you shared your whole story about how you did that for your, and I feel like that's what teaches us how to support others is like allowing us, us to walk through that fire ourselves and the, the, the learnings and growth that we pick up along the way, allow others to believe that they can do the same. So I thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. Thank

Janelle (34:38):
You so much Le for joining us and sharing your story. I had tears in my eyes like most of the time to be honest. So I can't wait to put this out there to our listeners. How can they get in contact with you? What's your Instagram and your website

Lena (34:52):
Please? Very easily. I'm on Instagram at Lena that's L E N a underscore Moin. I hang out there far too much, so you'll find me there most of the time. And the best way I guess, to experience me and my work would be to jump onto the And you can jump into one of the workshops that I have facilitated online for free plug your details in it gets sent to you. And I would love to share that with you. Perfect.

Janelle (35:22):
Thank you. Once again

Aleesha (35:23):
For joining us, I can highly recommend that too. Actually. I've been present and yeah.

Janelle (35:28):
Thank you for listening guys. We'll be back again soon. Bye.