The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast

#14 - Navigating the Way for our Children w/ The Magical Sophie Saba

March 03, 2022 Janelle & Aleesha
The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast
#14 - Navigating the Way for our Children w/ The Magical Sophie Saba
Show Notes Transcript

Sophie is a holder of sacred space for women. She has a passion for promoting sisterhood and regularly runs magical women's circles.

She keeps in real, and she is a magnetic, magical, divine feminine powerhouse.

We talk about motherhood, juggling parenting with our soul's purpose, giving ourselves grace, and showing up as the whole, imperfect, magical warrior woman that we are. 

Make us smile & be updated when new episodes drop.
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Find our guest Sophie Saba
Website >>  www.sophievsaba.com
Insta >>  instagram.com/sophievsaba

Find Janelle:
Website >> www.janellebridge.com.au
Insta >> www.instagram.com/janellebridge

Find Aleesha:
Insta >> www.instagram.com/unleeshd_you

Janelle (00:01):

Hello,

Speaker 2 (00:02):

And welcome to the permission givers podcast with Janelle and Alicia. Alicia is a soul coach who helps women come back to self to discover who they truly are and what they're here to do. Janelle that's me is a spiritual mentor and psychic medium who focuses on empowerment, spiritual growth, and finding your divine purpose. We are are a women's empowerment podcast here to give you permission to choose yourself so you can unlock and live the life of your dreams. Let's go

Janelle (00:32):

Today. We have special guests, Sophie, Sabba on the show with us. Sophie's a holder of sacred space for women. She has a passion for promoting sisterhood and regularly runs magical women circles. She always keeps it real and she is a magnetic magical divine feminine powerhouse. In today's episode, we talk about motherhood, juggling parenting with our soul's purpose, giving ourselves grace and showing up as the whole imperfect, magical warrior women that we are. Welcome. Sophie. Welcome.

Sophie (01:01):

Thank you so much. It's always a pleasure to come here and have many, many epic words with you. Beautiful women. So thank you for having me.

Janelle (01:08):

Thank you for coming. And we've been having a bit of a chat offer. We're like, oh, we better hit record because we missed the magic. And I guess, you know, the things that we started talking about and it kind of evolved to was giving ourselves grace in the roles that we do and we are opening the floor for you. So to talk about whatever you would like to, because we love your wisdom and it's always so mind

Speaker 2 (01:31):

Expanding. And I feel that

Janelle (01:32):

That's kind of what's happened this morning too already, or this afternoon, whatever it is to go. Yeah. Wow. That's really interesting. And we're all going through the same. So again, it's permission to share and to just delve into whatever you'd like to delve into today.

Sophie (01:47):

Oh my goodness. There's all the things, everything. Okay. Well I guess, you know, Alicia and I just actually touched on evoking the woman, which I think is a great place for us to start because evoking, the woman, women is such a huge extens who I am, and also for you girls. And for me, you know, my EV my evoking starts with my children. I have two girls and a son, and it also has to do with my relationship evoking, the woman in my union with my husband and also evoking and leading in the spaces for our sisterhood collect, which is, you know, my service and my passion and really understanding there's so many polarities of greatness and hardness and of triumphs and failures and moments that bring you to your needs and moments of moments that you need to give yourself grace.

Sophie (02:48):

Yeah. And so, you know I'm, I'm in this space right now where I'm feeling like a very evoked wild woman, which is what most women will probably connect with me at the heart of, you know I am all about cultivating that really raw primal divineness of being a woman in all aspects that we can bring that to. But I think what's coming through probably the most to me, particularly in the last week is all centered around I'm in a space where I'm really right in the thick of elevating our, our collective as women, you know I, I facilitate women's circles, which have now converted into events through breathwork and sound healing. You know, I run an eight week online program where we're all about evoking, the woman and just constant evolution and expansion. And I started this because I wanted to navigate the way for, for my girls to feel fully Evok. And then, you know, I guess I'll just share vulnerably that right now, I'm in a space where I feel like I'm being brought to my knees, because I feel like I'm struggling as a mom and understanding that I'm a rookie in every moment and trying to ignite and bring forth my inner child so that she can heal along the way and pass away from my children. I think I'm just gonna take it straight there. Why jump in the shallow end when we can go straight to the defense, do ball Steve straight away.

Sophie (04:14):

Yeah,

Leesh (04:15):

Definitely what we are good at. Thank you so much for sharing that I wanna ask, particularly for, for our audience is just to get a deeper understanding of who you are, why you are and why you do what you do. So what is your story? So,

Sophie (04:32):

Mm it's really interesting. So in, in my circles, in my space is the story is the medicine, the story, your story is the medicine. So I believe every single woman, every single womb is magic. And when you step into my circles, your invitation to step up and share your story is really profound because it gives you a voice and it gives you the space to share disarming all of the programs, all of the, the shackles that keep us confined as a woman and let that out of you. But we are not our story, right. Which is very, which, which is very important to note. So your story is the medicine, it comes up and through it's many different polarities of your life to date, and then it comes through and, and also, you know, allowing that out to other women gives them permission to share their story from the deepest roots of their soul.

Sophie (05:29):

So my story is, you know, I, I best describe myself as a warrior woman, having a human as experience. And I mean that because I am, so I, I'm such a feeling being my whole life. I've been a feeling I'm always being, you know, a quirky kind of really random child, which I loved in evoked. And then I also grew up with a very strong polarity sorry, a very strong artist of my older sister. And so I was intergenerationally born into sisterhood wounds that started with my grandma's grandma, my grandma, her, her sisters, my mom and her sister, and then me and my sister. And so I, my, my worthiness and who I was as a person has always been very challenged by trying to be a sovereign being. And when I had to go else of my own, I was fully committed to both of them being and taking up space in whatever they needed to take up space in and being full acceptance of that.

Sophie (06:25):

And so I was like, well, where I need to start is our collective so that my girls can step into these spaces, feeling that amongst everyone. And so, you know, I I've, I've had, I've had a beautiful 36 years to date full of many highs and lows that have accelerated who I am, but this warrior essence that I'm in now feels the most potent. And I guess I'm trying to navigate the space cuz I wanna also claim that I'm a really good mom. Like I'm a really, really good mom. And I was just saying to the girls, like I should use this union with my kids because I choose to show up in this conscious relationship with my children. But it's really hard. It's really, really hard. So that's a bit about who I am, why I'm here in this space, why I'm offering my blood, sweat and tears and soul for this collective for my girls, but also navigating sharp in the present because none of that is really worth it. If I'm not holding down the thought where I am right now

Janelle (07:25):

And the balance is so hard. And when you spoke about this just before we hit record, I was like, oh, thank God. Thank God someone is speaking into how I feel because I felt the exact same. There's so much transformation. There's so much, up-leveling, there's so much to being called forward of me and I've broken the last couple of weeks. Cause I'm like, I've got nothing left because I'm exhausted. Cause I'm also parenting. I'm also parenting and there's that real stretching of like, which way am I being pulled and I'm being pulled both ways. And then I'm feeling like I'm not doing, doing either role and they're only two of my roles, but they're two massive roles. I'm not doing either role properly. So I'm just this stretched out version of myself in the middle and I can't give up either of those.

Sophie (08:12):

Yeah. And I don't. And what I was just saying to you, girls as well, it's like, I don't believe we should have to. I don't believe this is the normal. I don't believe the celebrate of burnt out mothers and burnt out women is the answer. I don't believe that's the normal. I believe we're in a time now where we get to work through the hard to figure out how to actually navigate a beautiful dance and synchronicity of these roles. And you know, I've, I've particularly found for me like hacking my nervous system and every, every opportunity possible has allowed me to ground. You know, we've got this whole philosophy around self care and you know self love and that's all well and good, but like a bath is not going to really do it sometimes for you as a mom and going out and having some time to yourself is not gonna just do it as a mom.

Sophie (09:01):

You actually need to consciously keep in every like, you know, every spare moment utilizing things like your breath, utilizing yourself, by giving yourself full permission, to feel, not normalizing that you're having a breakdown in front of your children, sorry, like normalizing that parenting and your feelings are normal to your children. When I was growing up, if my mom was having a breakdown, she would go off to another room and close the door. Right. And we would be like, okay, mom's, you know, doing whatever. I now invite my children to like when I'm having a moment, I clearly express, you know, I'm having really big feelings and it's nothing to do with you guys. It's actually all to do with me. And then I put it on a movie and I sit there and I cry and I cry and I cry and I cry and I, I let that be normal because that is normal.

Sophie (09:47):

I never want my children to feel like they have to suppress because it's not accepted the small moments with intention. You know? I don't know. I view guys, but I used to do this thing where I take a day off to myself and I do all the things I didn't do it intentionally. And I came back, still burnt out and still resentful that I had taken that time out and was like, I'm still flustered and everyone's still me off. And I'm like annoyed. And it's like, it's because I didn't do anything intentionally. I didn't sit down for like a cow and I didn't intentionally drink it. I didn't sit down and intentionally write my affirmations. I didn't sit down and intentionally, well, I didn't swim through the ocean and really feel the fluidness of the water. And they are the small hacks that I've found. Bring me back into a state of a little bit more togetherness.

Janelle (10:34):

Yeah. And that's really powerful. And I, I find personally a juggle for me is my work, lights me up. My events light me up. My community lights me up and that's time away from my kids. What I also need is time by my self.

Janelle (10:46):

And then it's like, how do I get that time by myself and that time with my community and that time with my husband and that time with my children. And it's like, do I just need five of me? So it is really hard. It, it, and I think normalizing that it's always gonna be hard and I feel like it's always going to be a dance and a, okay, this needs more attention. Now I'm gonna put it back down. I think that's important too, to go. We're always juggling all of these plates and a plate's gonna slip and then we can pick it back up, you know? And that's the grace that we were talking about earlier because I don't think any woman ever goes, marriage is perfect. I'm spending quality time with my children and I'm killing it in my work, whatever I do. And I'm really fit and healthy and I'm getting enough sleep. I don't think that actually ever exists.

Sophie (11:32):

And, and, and the antidote to that is Queens. And for every babe listening to this, it's like kick it. Every woman you have off the pedestal, kick them all off the pedestal. All the women that you're looking at that are aspiring with their beautiful reels and their highlights of their life. That all look like they're all together. Kick them off the pedestal because we are all navigating a different normal. We are all navigating a different what looks good and feels good. But when you pet pedestal someone as well, which is what some people have done to me, you know, last year in particular, I you know, separated away from my husband and people were, oh my God. I thought you guys were couple girls. And I was like, don't do to me. And I didn't, it didn't come from anywhere malice, but I was like, the moment you do that to me, you, you, you don't give me permission to be a human, to be in my mess. And I'm a messy human, we are all messy humans. And we are all doing the best job with what we have right now.

Janelle (12:31):

Yes. And that is so that kind of like, what do you, what do you mean? What do you mean? You're feeling that way? What do you mean your marriage? Just falling apart? Yeah. I'm a human. I remember sharing also just feeling, I can't remember what I was sharing it around, but I share everything as you guys know. And I was sharing that things felt really hard. I think, and someone contacted me again. It was with no malice. And I were like, but you have everyth, you have all these things like you're doing so well. Like you're business does well and this and that. And I was like, I'm exhausted. Don't minimize that. And I step into these things and I create them. They're not gifted to me. You know what I mean? And it was really, it really frustrated the outta me cuz I was like, I didn't just, it wasn't just born and gifted and placed on this part. Like I'm walking through fire right now. Like I'm walking through fire. I share that with you guys. What part of that? Don't you see? You know what I mean? So I,

Sophie (13:20):

I,

Janelle (13:20):

I totally resonate with what you're saying there, it's not fair to place someone on a pedestal and thinking that they have couple girls marriage when it's falling apart, you know?

Sophie (13:31):

Totally, totally. And just normalizing that. And so, you know, like even, even the word hard, right? So we need to get like really savvy and critical with what does that language mean? It is hard, but how can I reframe that to be like, it's hard, but I also know there's expansion. So always looking at the opposite ends hard. Cool. I always know with hard there's there there's full blown expansion. So I accept and I don't let that block me from moving through because you can't go under and you can't go. So you can't go over and can't go under it. You have to go straight through it. And that that's a choice like that. That's a real choice. And so when you choose this relationship, when you choose the relationship with your husband, you choose this relationship with your kids. And when you choose to step up and be in the, in whatever you're doing, you choose the hard because you choose expansion. Right. And that's, that's profound that that's profound. That's

Janelle (14:25):

Speaking to myself at the moment, leash knows extensively. Like I'm just sitting with this block of resistance in my work and I'm like, it's hard and I'm not going,

Sophie (14:36):

It's

Janelle (14:37):

Challenging expanding me. I'm like, it can off. That's my, that's me at the moment. Cuz I'm just like, this is really hard. So I really like that view of it. That of course it's hard, but it's also hard to do the same thing forever. Yeah, it's confusing and yeah, it's tangling and stretching and expanding and I I'm over it. I really am.

Sophie (14:56):

It is babe and there and, and you know what, and that's the moments where we throw our hands in the air and we go, I'm a mom, or my work. Wasn't this, you know, yesterday I had a moment at Claire's Immers, which was so beautiful, I'm a classic overachiever, right? So when I show up for something, I wanna show up with like everything on par and working and you know, I was doing the drumming immersion. I get out there with my drum, twang twang, if anyone knows a traumatic drum, it's supposed to be like, and so it had, because it got a bit cold. The hide had had stretched and contorted. And so I was like, oh my God. And like my, my drum is called Patricia. Like, you know, I'm so I'm looking at her cuz my, my, my, my drum is an extension of my women.

Sophie (15:44):

I'm like Patricia, what doing to me? Like we've got big shoot. Like we, we're stepping up here and I'm sitting there and I'm trying to make it warm. And I'm trying be what it is. And you know, 70 women are waiting for me to like fully immerse them in her magic. And I just put my hands off and I said, I surrender. You are what you are. This is what it is. And this is what you get. And so I walked out there and I just, you know, beat this drum that was like not hitting a soul, soul depth boom for me, but knew that it was exactly what it was supposed to be at that moment. And it was, and, and so, and

Janelle (16:18):

As I said to you off air,

Sophie (16:20):

One

Janelle (16:20):

Of my girlfriend met you yesterday. And she was like, oh my God, Sophie. But she actually, and I didn't share this part with you. She was like, oh, she came out with her drum and she was like banging this drum. And it was so magical. So you're the only one criticizing yourself.

Sophie (16:34):

And that's what, and that's what we do. We then get into this thing where we think we're like, it's just this harshness we have with ourself. That is which is such deep programming, you know? And the grace to constantly keep cracking that away. Okay. I see a bit better now. I hear a bit better now and I'm slowly working through it. Yeah.

Leesh (17:01):

Oh, wow. I've just been sitting feeling into all of your women's words. And I wanted to share something that I watched yesterday. It was alive between, I said it all, oh, that's

Leesh (17:16):

Lucas Mac and his partner. And they talked about the separation of them, where she went on some mushroom journey or something like that. And she decided in that moment that she wanted out of the relationship. And so they had 100% for broken it away and it was painful and it was hard and they found their way back to each other, but they realized it needed to die for them to create the new relationship. But what they spoken to, which I wanted to share in relation to what you women have been sharing is the fear of the depth of the, the dark side. Yeah. Of the dark emotions. And they were talking about how, you know, that people see the shadow. People see the shadow as like if in fear. But, but what if the fear is the light? What the, the shadow is the light. And it's, it's really like if you can view your shadows, which is essentially with you women talking about your journey and how there's so much resistance coming up, and it's the parts that you can't see that the resistance is in. And what if that is your light? What if you are, if, if you view this differently, instead of being in fear of it, like see it with compassion, see it with love and see it with this is here for me right

Sophie (18:36):

Now. It's so interesting, babe. I'm hoping I'm doing this justice. What I, what I read yesterday, but it was like, if love is the outcome, fear is a teacher, right? So if Love's where we are going, fear is a teacher. And I am like finding and finding my way, right? So we are born as women in the darkness. We live in utero, in absolute BLIS, as we are fed, given everything in complete. Like as in that, in that utero, we are like complete right. We are pure. We are growing. And so we are, we are in that darkness. We are on from that darkness. And when we come into the light, we come earth side, but it's about navigating our way back to feeling comfortable in the darkness feeling okay with all the things that we've been told as women to turn away from.

Sophie (19:28):

You know what I mean? Like we were labeled the way, which, you know, the witch is dark. She's this she's scary. Don't go into the woods. Right. But if the wild woman actually goes into the woods, that's where all the wild is, was at there's full permission. There's nothing, there's, there's vastness, there's a full knowing and homecoming in space. And that is like with your shadows. So your shadow work, you know, in particular, I noticed this cuz in the, the circles and sisterhood stuff that I like I speak into, it's like, we, we can look at sisterhood as like where we wanna go and what we wanna have and unity and, and, and everything blissful. But we have to travel from the sister wound. Okay. So the sister wound is the sister shadow, which all of us have experienced to some degree. And it's unlocking that really painful wounding, which can be yours from this lifetime or from your mums, from another lifetime or many generations before.

Sophie (20:26):

That's still stuck within our visceral body here today. And through that tenderly self holding and loving yourself through that, coming back to being a child, holding, loving it's. Okay. You know, one of the best practices I do is I constantly go back inside myself to seven year old Sophie and, and I hold her in moments that were hard and I hold her and I love her. And sometimes I put her in my car and I drive to the beach, or sometimes I just, I put her in bed with me and I love her. So that she knows that she's never alone. And this is the work that comes through for us as women at it's like, we don't need anything external to work through our or our shifts or our darkness. Like it's all already within ourself, make your way into the woods.

Janelle (21:15):

Yeah. That's, that's so profoundly something that I had a bit of an aha moment with this morning, actually I was voice noting a friend and we were talking about the ice baths. So I know that you've done them and we've all done them. And so I feel like when you do a three minute ice bath, a five minute bath ice bath, you're wiping away the surface level. So you're giving yourself a bit of Arrigo. You're wiping away the that's come up during the week. And you're good to go. About four weeks ago, I did a 21 minute ice bath bath. It was intense. It was crazy. And I had, I've had so much surface since then. And I thought that I was having a mental breakdown and I have been full disclosure having a mental breakdown, but I was just like, what the is wrong with me?

Janelle (21:54):

And it wasn't until this morning that I realized that I dealt I in that 21 minutes, I went deep and I dug into that wound and I ripped the SAB off and I'm cleaning it out and it hurts. And it, it hurts. Yes. And I have not been kind to myself over the last four weeks since that happened, because I've just been stuck in this, like the is wrong with you. Why are you feeling like this? Where's this coming from? How do we fix it? Instead of honoring the fact that I took a massive journey in those 21 minutes, I pushed my body to the brink to get to that, that bottom stuff, instead of just wiping away the layers, you know what I mean? And that literally only lifted my mind today. I was like, oh. I'm actually doing way more work here than I thought I was. Why am I being a to myself through this process? And I need to be kind,

Sophie (22:46):

I know it's, it's so true. And so profound. How, how, how true that is babe? You know I, I just will refer back to this cause I kind of spoke about this being the wild woman, but the wild woman, doesn't pat over the stuff underneath the soil, right? She she's the Wolf. You know, I talked about this last time women that run with woo. Every woman should have a copy of this Bible next to their bed. But the woman in her most innate state, she gets in the soil and she claws it up and she's finding the bones of her or whatever's presented to her underneath. And it is messy and she's got and mud and her, her paws are like scratched up and under needs. She finds the bones and she pulls them up and she's there with it.

Sophie (23:35):

And what's happening today is that a lot of women don't know how to dig back in with their paws. They don't know how to reignite that essence. And so they pat over and they smooth and they might grow a flower on top. And that looks beautiful from the outside. But underneath those bones will always have a song that she will hear very faintly, that they will sing to her if she doesn't dig them up because that flower will eventually die. And I commend and I like honor. So deeply the women that have the courage to dig up the garden bed,

Janelle (24:14):

I love what you were saying. And it makes so much sense about the song calling out because no matter what you do, no matter how you distract yourself, it's still calling you. It's still

Sophie (24:23):

There. It'll call you. It still does. It'll call you.

Janelle (24:25):

But it is, I mean, you know, full respect and full I don't know what the word is, but you know, it's hard. It's hard, you know? Yeah. And it does almost stop you from dealing with anything else at your life in the time, which again, comes back to what we were talking about, which is giving yourself grace as a mom, because I've been so stretched and expanded and, and dealing with my own that I'm like, I can't deal with yours too, man. I can't deal with all of you. I just need to get through my own right now. And so honoring that, that's not how you show up as a mum for the entire period of your children's lives, but it might be how you show up as a mum for four weeks and they'll cope. They'll cope with that. Yeah.

Sophie (25:04):

And you will go in and out because you are constantly evolving and changing and the magnetic woman, like she doesn't do this on her own. She does this in the pack. And I Ram this down as many women's throats that I can, that I can get to me. It's like, you cannot, you cannot do this journey on your own as a woman. I mean, you can, right. You can, but become so disconnected. So sad. And the bitterness of feeling the, the Marty of, I don't worry about it. I do it on my own. Don't worry. Nobody's here to blah, blah, blah, victim, victim, victim, victim, victim blocks your magnetism. And so those women typically will only draw in women that of the same. And then when you are fully responsible for wanting to call in like beautiful epic magnetic sisters is when you start to do that for yourself fully do that for yourself as well. You know recognizing that it's okay to ask for help, to receive help, to of compliment, to receive, to receive as a feminine because we've been so deconstructed that that receives surrender to be with flow makes us weak when actually it's our superpowers.

Janelle (26:24):

And that's something that I've battle with surrender. And I'm always so honest about that. I've done a recent Instagram post about it because and I actually spoke to a client about this in a reading this morning when we are here to make change, we have to bring a lot of resistance. So we have to be like, no, that's not the way it's supposed to be. So we have to like fight through this, whether it's parents or teachers or whatever it is to be really resistant to be like, up. I can say that if I want to, or I can do that if I want to. So then when it comes to surrendering, it's so hard because you're like, no, no, no, I've been fighting. I've been fighting for us. And now I'm supposed to lay down. That feels a lot like giving up. So again, it's that dance between the fight and the surrender. And I struggle with I'll go down fighting.

Leesh (27:07):

So

Janelle (27:07):

That's my, at the moment, that's something that I struggle with.

Sophie (27:11):

But in actual fact, babe, what you're actually doing is, is like you're actually opening. So the lying down is actually arms open and fully trusting, which people that are here in fight mode. Yes, cannot. And so that, that's where all the magic happens. That's where deep, like, you know what, my arms are open. Nothing can actually take away more power from me right now

Janelle (27:40):

Left.

Sophie (27:42):

I've got it off here.

Janelle (27:44):

Yeah.

Sophie (27:44):

You know, it is, it's an absolute arch. It's a real art. Yeah.

Leesh (27:51):

I just wanna share too. So the very similar thing come up for me in my session coaching session this morning was around the mater role. And I identify strongly with that as a three, five projector. The five line is the Marty. And so I, I can reflect on my own Marty that I've played consistently throughout my life. And I can claim it also as part of just instinctually innately who I am, but I can also realize that it doesn't have to lead me. It is not the driver in my life that I get to make sure with the awareness of my pattern, which was to Marty, myself as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as a sister and to Marty myself was, was literally meaning that I would turn up for others at the expense of myself. And I share that like today, particularly in this topic around us as mothers, maybe not feeling like we are enough.

Leesh (28:52):

Yeah, you are enough. Yeah. You are enough. And to become so self-sacrificing for me, ho I get emotional talking about this was re realizing and that I was modeling that to my children and it did not serve them. So as much as I thought showing up and turning up was my power for, for everybody around me. It was also an energy that I taught my kids and modeled to my kids. And in reflection now I'm like, no, I'm teaching the differently. Now that I have that awareness, I'm like, you must show up for yourself first. You must put yourself first because this is how you teach your children to

Janelle (29:37):

Show up for yourself. Another thing that's come up for me actually on this topic. Just reflective of another conversation I had with another light worker was that, and this is, you know, obviously part of the generational wounds and things like that. But the things that we haven't healed will show up in our children. So if we can dig down and deal with whatever's there, they don't have to. So whilst they might have to have us being not so present or so connected for a certain or, or just tired for a certain period of time, we're actually doing some of that deep work for them. And I was talking to leash privately about this last night in that my son who's had such a battle has come so far in the last year, like so far, and that's reflective of what I've done for. So that's reflective of what I would call myself being selfish before that's reflected in him. So we don't like, if you wanna serve your kids, you have to do the work. You know, you can't just show up, pop a Xanax and be happy, happy mom.

Janelle (30:39):

Yeah.

Sophie (30:40):

That that's the flower, you

Janelle (30:41):

Know what I mean? That's,

Sophie (30:42):

That's the flower bed. And I love that so much. And also giving your kids permission, right? Like giving your kids permission to choose yourself first, even over you. Yeah. Even over you as the mother, which is so liberating because you know, our children are not at like, they're not our else. Okay. And we have this very big Amesh that we have with our children, where we then rely on them to be our source of happiness. And I love them, my babies, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, you've gotta let them be sovereign beans. And in that comes the ability to let them pick themself. Like when they're, you know, obviously a bit older, maybe around your kid's age, but like that they can choose and say no to you. If it means choosing yourself.

Janelle (31:26):

Oh, mean they say no a lot.

Sophie (31:28):

Yeah. Oh my God. And I, and we have to get comfortable with that. No, and that's my thing. My two youngest, they're only two and four, but they are fiery and they constantly push on the edges of my good girl that had to grow up. You know, my inner child had to be good. The fixer you know, I felt very hated and inconvenient coming from two older siblings and being the third. And so I became this child that was constantly trying to navigate, like fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing. And so my two younger children are like no way they demand everything and they demanded their then. And it's even when I wiped the out and constantly getting okay with, like, for example, if my kids are melting down, you know, my son, he will get into the full flailing. Right. And I have to stop and be like, we're trying to get out the door.

Sophie (32:21):

We've got drop offs. I've got somewhere to be. And I literally take myself out. I actually take my shoes off and I just sit next to him and I just breathe. And I just sit there because he, I don't try and hold him. I don't try and cuddle him. I'm just there. Sometimes that goes for 12 minutes. Sometimes that's gone for 40 minutes and I let go that of all the things I was meant to be at was not as important as for him right now that he needed to express himself and it was full on. And it really challenged me cuz I'm like, that's not how I was going to express or how I did things, but I let it, I let it happen. And I gave my of self grace. And those are the moments that I celebrate myself as a mom that I was able to stop and do and just hold them through their emotions that I can't understand. He can't even understand. He's four, he's two, they're 16. They're still integrating,

Sophie (33:14):

You know? And then there's some days where I literally lose my and slam car doors and then drop kids off and cry because I've yelled and I've done things and I've said things, but then I always own it. Like I always own it after even my two year old, like I will grab her and I cut her face and I just look at her and I'm like, I'm so sorry that I couldn't hold you in that moment. It, you know, I'm so sorry. I'm trying my mess. And I love you, you know, she's too, she's just looking at me like can,

Janelle (33:47):

Can have ice cream now.

Sophie (33:49):

Yeah, totally.

Speaker 5 (33:50):

She, she actually said, she

Sophie (33:51):

Goes,

Speaker 5 (33:55):

You

Sophie (33:55):

Know, I'm,

Speaker 5 (34:00):

You know what I mean? 

Sophie (34:02):

But like for me, that's the healing. So that's the healing, they're the moments. Well, we

Janelle (34:08):

Don't go through life. Perfect. So we, we need to show our kids what we do and we up. Yeah. So if you don't up ever, so say you were perfect and you never up for, so like, I don't know what's going on here, but it's not gonna happen, but just say

Sophie (34:21):

Your

Janelle (34:22):

Kids never see the up. So they do not know how to handle a up. They never hear you apologize. They dunno how to apologize.

Sophie (34:29):

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Leesh (34:31):

And that's resilience. That's

Sophie (34:32):

Narcissistic. That's actually, you know, that's why we have like this whole, this huge generation of past aggressive narcissistic qualities, because we had a generation of parents that weren't real with their feelings.

Janelle (34:46):

Yes.

Sophie (34:47):

And then we've got this huge generation, like within my, my parents' age group, there was a lot of separations like later in life because they don't, they figured out they didn't like each other from a long time ago. But never had a voice people please a mentality. And they're 60, my mom's near 70 and she's cracking through this work now. Like she sits and listens to me sometimes. And she's like,

Speaker 5 (35:08):

I don't, I dunno how I do this. You it's like, I, I believe that, you know, all these things and

Sophie (35:14):

I'm like, mom, I just, you, you chose me. And I chose you because this is a time I learned this so that then my children can get more out of that. Right. So everything is beautifully perfect. And grace for her grace, for my grandma, grace, for us all as women, you know

Leesh (35:32):

Grace for our parents. Yes. You know, like I just wanna share an aspect of that. I had a conversation yesterday, which was really hard expanding around my relationship with my parents. And so when we are talking about having grace for ourselves as parents, I feel like it's a, it's a, it's really powerful to also recognize the contempt and the bitterness and the resent we hold for our own parents and really give, give them grace too. So the, this conversation I spoken to was talking about my traumatic experiences as a child and how the wisdom and the awareness that I have now around they came into my life and I chose them as much as they chose me to give me these experiences. So I could now be who I am, cause without the traumatic experiences that I had lived through. I wouldn't know what I know now. I wouldn't have the depth. I wouldn't have the depth of awareness of grief that I do. And so I, I, I, 100%, I know it's a process. And for anyone listening, if you are in that process of understanding how the do I forgive my parents for what I was subjected to as a child? That wasn't fair. That wasn't fair. I want you to know that with some compassion and forgiveness for yourself, first, that you can come to having compassion and forgiveness and grace for your parents too. Yeah.

Sophie (37:03):

So much. And that's hard. So that's the other vote. That's the other type. That's the hard, you know, forgiveness is so freeing. It's so freeing when we can give grace forgiveness for our parents, for ourself, for everyone and everything. And realizing that we are literally in the driver's seat of this whole experience of being a human and we are humans. Like we are humans. We are meat popsicles, like with these souls that are just trying to like navigate our way through and being a human is hard, right? Like being a human is hard. And when you choose to unravel all of the, the, the workings of being a human, like that is hard. And but expansive like fully, like you get to hijack the best of being a human. When you work through the hard

Leesh (37:56):

And worth it. Yes,

Sophie (37:58):

Yes. And

Leesh (37:59):

Worth it. When you choose life, realize it's worth it. I could see Janelle shuffling, but what I want to share is that I pulled two cards before our

Sophie (38:10):

Call

Leesh (38:11):

And the whole call was just like, again and again, and again, coming back to these cards, I'm like, these cards are for, you know, these cards, are you, you know, these cards are for me, they're obviously for all a bus, the first card I pulled out was stretch.

Sophie (38:22):

Wow. I actually said those words. Yeah, you did.

Leesh (38:28):

The first card I pulled out was stretch and we've had so much talk about our inner child and the other card was discovery.

Leesh (38:37):

So I feel like not just, yeah, for ourselves as, as parents for ourselves as women, there's stretches going on for everybody. And I, and I think it's also the not, not getting scared of the stretch. Yeah. Not getting scared of the dark of the shadow of the stretch. Because it's there to help us rediscover more of ourselves, more of our essence, more of our being that's okay. Let's come back in, was thinking about when you're talking about this human experience that we are in, I love to speak or around the fact that we are a human physical form and we have this soul that's driving us. And so this for me has been a consistent evolution of how do I integrate my human and my soul.

Sophie (39:27):

Yeah.

Leesh (39:28):

Because this is like, we, we don't get away from this human human experience until we die. So how do I, I but, but I'm also feeling like I'm tapping more in the more I grow into my spiritual path and my spiritual journey, which is diving deeper into my soul, which is taking me further away from the human experience and the 3d world. So how do I stay grounded in the humanness and still be allowed to chase that spiritual aspect of me. This is where the synergy happens. And the flow happens when we can integrate a healthy element of both. And we need both. You can't, if you, if you literally, at this point where you want to step over to the spiritual side, then this human experience doesn't have any purpose for you anymore. So, but the thing is, while you're here, just the fact that you exist means you have purpose. Yes. You have purpose. And so whilst you have purpose, whilst you are alive, chase your aliveness. Mm. Allow yourself to integrate both human and soul.

Sophie (40:31):

Yes. Oh yeah. I'm so glad that came back for you. I'm so, so glad that came. I'm so glad that that came back for us because it is it's, it's, it's both, it's a union of both. It's a union of the, yeah. You chose this life. You chose your parents, you chose this activation in this experience, you know, and I just did a post of this last night. I was like healing in the work. Yes. Sometimes. And then other times healing can be the human experience of a wild night, you know, cheese, platters buying a new dress. Like let's not take away all of those epic things that are part of the humanness too. And then come back to just the small moments of like right now in every single breath, in every single heartbeat, placing my hand on my womb every single morning and being like, I have a portal of Cosmo energy within me right now, like how epic, you know, how beautiful to be in this human experience and recognize these things. And then I can still go back to wanting to have a coffee and having a really 3d chat around life and funny things. And you know, it is, it's a definite dance. I love that to find balance for everyone. That's transitioning at the moment

Leesh (41:47):

Harmonizing through the flow. And that it's not always, as you were saying earlier, how we expect it to look and just being okay with how it does look.

Janelle (41:56):

Absolutely. how can our listeners contact you work with you, whatever you got coming up, where can they find you?

Sophie (42:04):

Oh so I mostly hang out on Instagram. That's more my vibe. So at Sophie vs ABA I also have a website, same WW, sophie.com AU. They can attend my workshops circle workshops. My next one is being released tomorrow, which is releasing the wild woman. It's, it's a seven hour workshop. Yeah, it's, it's been brewing for a long time. And for me, it's probably the most, cause it's real time, like it's real time. So that's gonna be really, really epic. I've got that coming in in April. I have my eight week online program called magnetic, which is all about evoking, the woman, which second intake starts the start of may. And yeah, I do. One-On-One breath, book, healings, many things always shuffling emerging birthing. So yes, if you feel called to please reach

Janelle (42:58):

Out, highly recommend, highly recommend.

Leesh (43:01):

Oh my God. Yes. I can highly recommend too. I've been gifted in person and online sessions with so and many, many, many thank you

Speaker 2 (43:10):

So much for joining

Janelle (43:11):

Us. I'm sure we'll have you back on cuz this has just been

Speaker 2 (43:13):

Epic.

Janelle (43:14):

Exactly what I needed to hear and you know, feel through as well.

Leesh (43:21):

I'm finding that like this is a new journey for me and Janelle podcasting and I am literally having aha moment after aha moment by holding these spaces with other women. I'm like, man, I didn't even know I needed to learn. We

Janelle (43:34):

Powerful women for free, like every week

Speaker 5 (43:40):

The, You guys have like activated like some serious. I love that

Sophie (43:48):

So much. You guys the

Speaker 5 (43:50):

Best.

Janelle (43:52):

Oh God. Thank you so much for joining us and we'll get you back on and soon.

Sophie (43:57):

Thank you for having me. Thank you. Love

Janelle (43:59):

You both

Leesh (44:00):

Love you.

Speaker 2 (44:02):

Thank you so much for listening in. It would mean the world to us. If you could give us a follow and even share an episode on your social media to help empower a friend of yours, feel free to check out some of our other motivational episodes. And until next time we are giving you permission to live your best life. Bye.