Let's take a deep dive into who you really are!
Underneath the roles you play be it a mother, daughter, wife, employee, business owner.
Who are you really? When everything is stripped back, what's left?
We also give you permission to shirk those thoughts that keep you small, who do you think you are?
A Powerful Woman!
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Welcome everybody to our first episode of the permission givers. We are so excited to bring this to you. We should talk a little bit about the aim of creating this podcast for you guys as leesh. What, what are your thoughts around? Why did we jump in and do this? Oh,
So yes, permission givers. Our aim is to empower women mm-hmm <affirmative> and to bring on some empowering guests that are gonna support others.
We've some powerhouse lined up haven't we? I'm so excited to bring them to you. So amazing. We, we live our life. We about rules essentially. So we have a strong set of morals, which guide us, but we don't succumb to standard rules. I guess we do swear a lot. <Laugh> false disclosure, that explicit content box has been ticked. We go deep in our conversations leash and I are soul sisters. We've known each other for about 11 years now. And we think that we come up with some really strong nuggets of wisdom in our conversations. So we figured let's share this. Let's share this with other women. And the name permission givers is essentially to give you permission to be vulnerable, to show up when you don't feel like showing up permission to put yourself first permission to go that. I don't care if that's the way it's always been done, I wanna do it this way! So that brings us to our first topic and our very first podcast, which is who do you think you are? Who do you think you're?
Who do you think you're like, oh, isn't that like, for me quite challenging and triggering just based on my childhood experiences. Like hearing, hearing that comment come from my big people, my elders. Mm. Yeah, I guess in moments where I, I stood my ground in moments where I was challenging or challenged them. So to be told, who do you think you are? Was never, was never a nice thing to hear. Well,
It's a way of putting someone back in their box. Isn't it? So my mom would say that to me too. Who do you think you are talking to me like that? And I must admit I've caught myself saying that to my kids a few times. <Laugh> cause you know, parents, we repeat, but I know we reflected upon this when we were discussing topics that in our friendship, which has gone past nearly 11 years, 11 years ago, we would be like, who does she think? She and quite judgemental of other women. So, you know, with that, who do you think you are? There's that kind of toxic bringing down of someone like knocking someone down a notch, but there's also, let's remove the the loaded question and let's actually remove any emotion to that and say like, no, actually, like who do you think you are?
Yeah. Come at you curiosity.
And that was a question that triggered you, wasn't it? Yeah. It started your journey. I reckon
Mm-Hmm <affirmative> yeah. Yeah. We, we did speak about that as as a coach, who do I, who do I think I am? And guess my experience around getting to that point of really asking myself that question was some massive life changes. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, mm-hmm, <affirmative> massive life changes. Finding myself single after nearly 20 years of marriage and poor children. And really only identifying myself as a mother and a wife and like just owning those roles as my identity and having no idea beyond that. Anything about who I was as a person. And
It was so triggering, cuz I remember you, you met with a counselor and they said, who are you? And you said, I'm a mom, I'm a wife. And they were like, no, who are you? And you were like, what the do you mean? Like that's who I am. That's my whole, and then I took about four years for you to discover the meaning behind the question <laugh> yeah, yeah,
Yeah. Literally hit me on the treadmill at the gym. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> I've shared this story quite a few times and it's, and it's funny because this is the connection that means. And I have this, this was marriage counseling that I had prior to my, my marriage breaking down. And he was recommended by you mm-hmm <affirmative> and I tell, I like when it comes to support in any way, I'd never reached outside of friends and family. And so this was the very first time we'd done anything like this and did had no clue at the time, what that meant when he asked me and challenged me around the fact that those were the roles I played, but they weren't who I was so challenging that I was, I was angry. I can remember how angry I was at him denying my reality. I was literally you after denying my reality and denying
The bigness of the roles that you play because the role of wife and the role of mom is a massive two massive roles. Yeah. And we can hide behind them and go, I can't be that person. I can't be that woman that I'm saying, who does she think she is? Because I'm a mom and I'm a wife and therefore I stand at the back. So many women do that.
That's a, and I think the other huge thing that I just wanna share right now is around like with those identity connection that I had to my mother and wife, I really didn't know how to have dreams and hopes for myself. Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>, didn't know how to have dreams and hopes for myself, which is a big part of what I hope to bring with this podcast. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> is permission. Yes. Like permission for any body that chooses to tune in and listen to what we have to share to empower choice mm-hmm <affirmative> and to have this deeper connection to who you are. So you can start creating the life that you wanna live. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> through being more of it yourself. And I realized I couldn't be more of anything mm-hmm <affirmative> until I realized that I was more, that I was more than just a mom, that I was more than just a wife. So coming back to who do you think you are? Yeah, it absolutely was the question. Yeah. That sent me on a journey of I guess, healing of self discovery. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> of self development. And
I'd like, you know, if you're listening to this, which you are, cuz you can hear me asking yourself that question, who am I? So when we strip back the role in your family, when we strip back the role that you play at work every day, like who are you? So if those, those identities were taken away, who's you. And so for me, that was coming back to the childlike version of myself, what were her dreams? What did she want to do? And finding that and coming back to authenticity is so important. And that allows us to be who we are, you know, rather than who we think we should be, if that makes sense as well. So who do you think you are? Has that polarizing? Yeah. Who do you think you are get back down, but it also has that know who do you think you are and, and what roles are you playing versus who you actually are, if that makes sense as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we get to ask ourselves mm-hmm <affirmative> based on the conditioning, the programming, the cycles that we've been in, like currently right now, how the are you operating? How and who are you operating as? And are those roles that you play serving you? What power do you have to change them?
And that's the thing like I'm a mom, I'm a dedicated mom, a dedicated wife, and I'm still more authentically me than I've ever been. So it doesn't mean that we're shirking our responsibilities or our roles. We're just stepping into more of our self within those roles, which is powerful. Can I put you on the spot and ask you? Who are you? Who are you? Oh,
We're practicing what we preach. Yeah. I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm still learning who I am. So I know that I'm stepping into my weirdness and I know that I'm stepping into my zero mentality when it comes to a lot of things that I felt that I had to achieve. I'm stepping into wholehearted self acceptance. So that means that, yeah, I'm terrible at cleaning my house and I'm terrible at the washing. So I'm paying someone to do that. I don't have to continually strive to be this like standard of perfectionism that doesn't suit me, but I, I still don't really know, like I'm still diving into discovering more of who I am. We don't, we don't know everything, but we're gonna share with you what we know in this podcast. <Laugh>
We did speak about that. You know, the, the permission that we wanna give for others to have this level of aliveness, which is literally not just existing, but actually living. And to me, that comes from having a deeper connection to who we are. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> allowing ourselves to really ask ourselves associate questions. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and sit with ourselves and move past a lot of the ego, the conditioning, the programming, which when it comes to this question, it was around allowing us us to be curious, rather than jumping straight in on the Def defense. Yes. Like we can hear there's so many questions. We can hear defensively mm-hmm <affirmative> and when our ego comes in, it prevents us from, it prevents us from growth mm-hmm <affirmative> prevents us from compassionately seeing the truth, compassionately seeing the truth. Who do I think I am? It's
Not an easy question. It really isn't. And it's something that I think that we should reflect upon often as well, because it's so easy to get pulled and lost into even who we think we should be in the roles that we've chosen in our life. So both you and I run our own businesses. We run them really authentically, but sometimes it's easy to get a little bit pulled along with what everyone else is doing business too
Hundred percent. Like for me, and I just sat with that for a minute while you shared mm-hmm <affirmative> I feel like I'm a divine, infinite being mm-hmm <affirmative> a divine, infinite being. And to me that means I'm a bit of everything. Yeah. I'm a bit good at good and bad. I'm a bit of dark and liar. I'm
Love angry. Cause it doesn't come I'm out often and I'm like. Yeah. <Laugh>
<Laugh> I, I realize I don't have limitations. No. Around who I am. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and the, the reason why I think I lent into that response was that I'm going through some changes. Mm. Again, and I'm like, my life is about changing because the level of growth that my mind wants to operate in, it's consistently changing who I'm being. So as I learn more about who I am, my, my whole being, my whole energy, my whole essence changes.
And that's where we go wrong. I think. And we were talking about this while we were waiting for, to technical difficulties to be fixed. And we're talking about committing to coaching, like with someone for a certain length of time, felt yucky to us because that's not what we want. Cause we're not committing to being the same version of us 15 months from now. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> that we are right now. So I feel like being really authentic is going, I might be different in six months cuz I'm open to new ways of the and evolving. I tried to be corporate for a while. That was quite hilarious. <Laugh> so I realized that I'm messy and I don't fit in the lines and that's okay. So I feel like authenticity comes down to that real self acceptance.
Oh my goodness. Yeah. Completely agree. You know, I, the, when we talk about who, who we fit, I'm a mother of, oh, we haven't really shared too much of this mm-hmm <affirmative> but a mother of five my children are age 16 to 27 mm-hmm <affirmative> and I like, I can look back at the, the role I played even as a mom and a wife and how relaxed and easy that was. But at the same time still very like my house was a pig time. So when my kids were growing up, but I tell you what it was like, we were pigs and. We were so happy. Mm. I was happy. And I was numb. I, my hopes and dreams were all invested in those roles. Mm. They were all invested in my husband. They were invested in my children. They were invested in the life that I created with them. Yeah. There was nothing. I like literally nothing that I can think of that I did just for the pure pleasure of being mean. Mm. And I've learned, I've learned the last probably five years along this journey, how important it is to take care of myself. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and see that, that was the journey back to having this deeper relationship with myself. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> to realize that I do have passion and pleasure and purpose, or that comes in nightly from me.
And was that kind of aligned with like, obviously your relationship break down. So that was a big kind of like, holy. K I, without that identity, but that also kind of aligned with Jem, Jamal moving out at a similar time, your El didn't it. So then you were like, oh, what do I have here? When all of these go away? Like what's left here. Yeah.
Mm yeah. And yeah, that, that was so that this is where I, I was saying I am an infinitely divine being who is always evolving and changing and growing as my life. Circumstances change. Yeah. Because as as I said, I can go back to being a 16 year old who left home to yeah. With my first partner had a child. And from, from that moment to the, the different phases as, as a, as a mom, to a teenager, as a mom, to a, a child that's moving outta home, that's having their own child
And essentially leaving you without a role. <Laugh> yeah.
Yeah. And again, so I'm at a stage now with my youngest being 16, nearly 17, where I'm again, asking myself where I'm at. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, there's lots of changes this year. It's yeah, well, yeah, lots of changes this year coming where I'm, I guess, allowing myself to be more of who I am fully before the roles that I've ever played. Yes. And putting like really putting myself first I've decided I wanna be a gypsy mm-hmm <affirmative> I wanna be a gypsy and I, as crazy as that might sound, I'm like I've lived 44 years of my life. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> very much invested in others. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and it feels so exciting yeah. To sell my home. Like my children are at a stage where they've got a whole lot of self, they all work. And, and this has been a couple of years of them really stepping into their own independence that I feel really safe to actually have some experiences that are all based around me. Mm absolutely. And
I'm like coming from a totally different end of the scale. So my babies are 10 and eight. My son has additional needs, so he's home all the time. He doesn't attend mainstream schooling. So I hid behind that role a little bit more of like, I, I don't have time. I don't have time. I have to do this. I'm held back by this. And then we step into Marta role where I, my whole life is my kids and my husband. And I'm so amazing, but guess what? I'm really grumpy. And I don't really like anything. And I'm also very resentful and resentment makes you sick. It makes you actually ill. So whilst I was, would've said that I was happy looking back now, I wasn't happy. And I wasn't choosing me at all. And that reflected on my kids. So my kids have come so far since I've started that very recent journey to choose me.
And the way that that's been shown to me from spirit recently, for all the women to step forward is women used to stand back and have the kids and their husband in front of them. And it's like, women are being pushed to the front now to be like, I'm being filled first because I'm the leader of this pack. And they're from an have more to give to my family because of the experiences that I navigate away from my family. And that doesn't mean necessarily selling you home and moving into a caravan and to living life on your own. But it can mean signing up for things that you wanna do. It can mean finding your sole purpose and something that came up in coaching yesterday with my coach was she reflect on how I was paving the way for generations that come after me because I am a change maker in my family.
But something that she reflected on, which I love, and I know Le will love as well is she said, what do you want your great-grandchildren to know about you, to talk about you, to feel about you. So imagining you know, them going on their deck of their grandparents house and pulling out a photo album, you are long gone, and they're looking at these photos. So maybe it's three generations down the track of you. Like, what life do you wanna leave behind? Like, I want them to be like, she was weird, but she was awesome. And she literally didn't give a, but she gave so many also. You know what I mean? Like I just really wanna pave that way to create more freedom for my kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. <Laugh>. Yeah. The legacy mainly
Is so important. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> I, I think that's a big one too, on the journey of discovering who I, who I was, was realizing, like that's how I found my way into coaching was that I was like, I, I want more purpose in my life. Yes. I wanna know what the my purpose is. And I feel like when we start to connect more to what our purpose in life is, this is where we build this relationship with who we actually
Are. Yes. And if we don't have purpose, we're living to other people's purpose and other people's ideas. Yeah,
Yeah, yeah. We, we become controllable. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> we controllable because we are at the WEM of others. Mm-Hmm yet not really knowing what it is that we want or what our purpose is.
I guess the other thing comes around with who do you think you are, is a bit more of a lighter side, but humility. We all have funny conversations about humility because particularly the older people in our life will say, be humble, stay humble. You're doing incredible, but stay humble. And we're like, humble. No. but then we discuss as to what humility actually means. So when it comes to who do you think you are? I know a lot of my clients have definitely a lot of yours too. Leash would be like, who am I to stand up and tell my story? Like, why does anyone care about my story? You know, why does anyone listening to our podcasts? Like who do we think we are? I'm sure we're triggering a few people with that, but humility serves no one when it's laid on too thick. So humility to me in its perfect balance is I am no better than anyone, but I'm also no worse than anyone. So we are all equal and I'm gonna share my gifts, which is empowering you to live a different life and to choose a life that fully serves you. Yes. Mm.
Yeah. I, I talked about this recently around humility. You know, I felt like on my journey of self love that humility was like a massive barrier, a massive barrier because I'd already lived a life of like self deprecation where I just literally was always against myself from being more from having more from doing more. Because, because of that, that level of humility that I unconsciously held, which, which was the I guess the description of what I thought humility meant. And my just the last year, I'd say as a coach, I've had to change so much of that around, not just for myself, but for my clients who allow what they thought humility was to get in the way of loving themselves. It doesn't equate to a self love journey. Mm-Hmm like you, you've gotta continue to keep yourself small to be humble. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> well, within the definition of it anyway, which was to have a low, a low level of one's self importance. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> but anything that create creates resistance in me, I'm I'm now I choose to sit with it even like my more even deeper mm-hmm <affirmative> has come up for us just very recently. So what we, what I learned around sitting with it, sitting with humility even longer was to realize that there is there's like grace plays such a big role in humility mm-hmm <affirmative> to not it's actually quite, yeah. Humility is kindness. Because it takes so much grace to be humble, no matter, no matter how somebody shows up
For us. Mm. The word humble. Still making me feel. I though <laugh> because even seeing that, like, no matter how, how your level of importance in the world was raised, like you'll never lose that kindness that's innately in you. And that's something that's always been in you in all the roles that you've played, even work wise. It doesn't matter what someone's level of society is or where they're at or what they can offer you. That kindness is always there regardless. Yeah. So humility for me is like, you know, looking at my child and saying, you are wise in this regard, you know, and that's your superpower, and this is my superpower. And we are, we have different levels of superpower and different things, but, you know, even spreading that to our kids, because we're taught that adults know all the answers and kids know nothing, but I've learned so much from my children and they behave better when I actually listen to their voice is what I've learned. <Laugh>, they're argumentative though. I'm a little bit sick of that, but I, I guess I know what they get that from. <Laugh>
Say they're they do, they can trigger our, our deepest resistance because they are a product of us. Absolutely. Yeah. Which is probably why they are our greatest learning tools as well. We can start to look at what parts of them. And you know, that has happened to me on my journey. Yep. Realizing the things that challenge me most about them. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> were often things I taught them. And I guess the, the forgiveness journey that I went on in healing myself, was around being the parent, the mother I was and how we just don't know what we don't know. Yeah. We
Don't. And that's the thing forgiveness for previous versions of you, I think is so important too, because we're always doing the best that we can. And then with every step we open our eyes and go, oh. Okay. And we can't, we don't wanna get stuck in how we didn't know that at that time we need to just move forward to what we know now. Mm.
Not gonna like yeah. Forgiveness for every version. Yes. But acceptance of every version and absolutely like more than that, even as gratitude, but version, because I, I can look back at really like victim mode, hurt versions of me that I had such resistance to accepting, which was really hindering my healing process.
It can get really uncomfortable to look at previous versions of us that we don't like that don't fit our ideals. And we're like, oh, but then that's not self acceptance. No. And that's not self love and that's not authenticity.
No. So my, yeah, the one, yeah. Important fact that I want to get out there is that we get to change our minds. We can change our minds because I feel like this is where people get stuck in patterns, cycles programs is that we don't realize that like, you know, that whole all, I just am who I am statement. No, no, no, no. If it's no longer saving you change that.
Yes. And the circumstances around you will change with that too. Yeah. So within those roles of motherhood, parenthood, all that kind of stuff, sometimes we get so stuck in who we're supposed to be, or we have to be like this. So for me, it was very much, I'm now a Marty and I, my child comes before me because he has special needs and I can't be anything else. And
My whole wife, it, it has, my whole life
Is tailored by almost restrictions. Yeah. But with that comes resentment. Yeah. And that's not fair, not anyone.
And then not only that, it's like, we don't, I don't often we don't realize that that level of resentment impacts them far greater than we, we think. Cause it's all energetic. Yes. And energetically mm-hmm, <affirmative>, we're bitter. And we are through our actions, through our behaviors, through our choices. We are showing them that just because it's not coming out through, we think that, okay, it doesn't exist, but it's energetically. It is there. And so this is the, I guess the reason why it's so important to put ourselves first, because that level of love the level of compassion and forgiveness and kindness we have for ourselves. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> is also what we teach them. And mm-hmm <affirmative> yeah. Like just cut the, the ability to getting rid of any bitterness, any resentment mm-hmm <affirmative> is gonna shift our energy and how we are showing up. Yeah, absolutely. And modeling to our children. And it's just like,
Just finally here, we've been talking for a while, so thank you for still listening. But you know, if someone in a really great mood comes into your space and they, the sunshine and it feels fantastic. Yeah. Or if someone comes into your room and they're in a bad mood and they're bitter and they're resentful you, how much does that change? What's going on for you? How much does that change? How you feel, you know? So it's so important that our energy, not just our actions, not just our presence is what impacts our family massively. Yeah. So we wanna energetically be sunshine, not the wind that you might be able to hear. That's nearly knocking us over in our recording. <Laugh> the winds of change are here. Just in summary, like, do you have any tips as a life coach as to how you help people discover their authentic version of you? Like anything for our listeners to a little bit of homework as to how they can tap back into one of the needs to be them and how they can step more into that or start to find themselves again.
Mm, wow. Okay. I love to share from personal experience. And so when it come for me to figure out what my purpose was, what I did was initially sit with what value I brought others. Mm. So how did I just instinctually show up in life? Mm-Hmm <affirmative> prior to, to this to me wanting to have a better understanding of what my purpose was. And I realized, you know, I was that I was the friend people would message when they were lost or sad. Yep. I was a listener. So I, I was a helper and I think maybe even as a, as a mom and, and as a wife, that was part of the fixer role, the nurturer role mm-hmm <affirmative>. So I started to look at the strengths. Yes. My, my, just my strengths. And that came also like from feedback from others mm-hmm <affirmative> it can be really challenging to ask other people what they, I think of you or what your strengths are.
Mm-Hmm <affirmative>. But I tell you what such a valuable question to start asking, particularly people that know you really well. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> to send out a, a few questions around how you show up for them. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> around like what they think your natural gifts are. Yeah. I like that. And that, that those questions in themselves taught me a lot about myself. Like, I, I it's really hard for, it was hard for me to accept some of the gifts and strengths I had until I consistently had people beating that back to me. It's validation. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. I love that because something that Oprah said and 30,000 guests that she had on one of the things that every single one of her guests had in common was they want to be validated,
Well, everyone wants to be validated. Yeah. And that's like, I teach psyche development. And one of the things we do in every psyche development class is practice readings on other people. And the reading, the reason that we do that is to get validation for what's coming through our brains and our systems validated by another person. So we are getting drop-ins from spirit, we're getting drop-ins you know, thoughts, whatever around what we wanna do, what our purpose is, how we show up, but we have this voice that goes, is that actually to true? So psychic development teachers guess it's true. Cause it's validated by someone else about them. Yeah. So therefore it's validated about us and me as a psychic, I still see a psychic every six months to have my own drop-ins validated. Yeah. So we always want validation. Some people say we should never seek validation, but I feel like sometimes confirming that the view part of yourself is correct. Is important to you. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Because our ego will instantly often go to, to fear, which tells us to not, not believe a lot of the things that are right in front of us. Yes. okay. Yeah. So the other things that I think are gonna be really supportive to somebody who wants to get with who they are, is getting quiet is part of where you tap in, where you tune in curiosity and yeah. Start asking questions of yourself. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> but getting quiet and getting quiet for me was a process of learning how to meditate. Like honestly, I say a process cuz sit in silence for one minute, like four years ago would be impossible. And so I know when I started, it was like, like five minutes of silence and I've, I've sat in two hours of like just literally silence now and each time I've done it again and again, and again, there's this in the silence where <affirmative> where our intuition will eventually kick us, kick us kick in. And, but you've gotta allow us have to practice that enough sitting in
Silence. Yeah. See, and I'm not a silent sitter. <Laugh> even as a spiritual healer, I don't like to sit in silence, but what I do is I will get out in nature and I will walk and I will just allow thoughts to come through. And that's when I'll get those a hope aha moments. And you know, how we're triggered in other people is highlighting things in us, which you'll discuss in another episode. Cause that's another four hours where the all came out. But essentially we just wanted this little Kickstarter as to who you are as who you choose to be and who you choose to show up as, and the light that you choose for yourself outside of your day to day responsibilities.
Okay. Can I just touch on something you just mentioned there, which I think is really important too. So it's not only silence, it's space space, it's giving yourself space. So whether, you know, going out into nature and it's not necessarily silent, but that's like space that you create for yourself it's space. And so however you can create space. This is a powerful space for you to like get more in touch
With who you are. That's actually what I say to my students is they say, how can I make it louder? How can I make my intuition louder? And I say, you can't, you have to turn down the outside noise so that you can listen into her. So that's will leave you with that. I love that. Love that. Thank you so much for listening to us. You can find us on socials. My, I am Janelle bridge spirit, medium on Instagram and leash what's
And I am unleashed you on Instagram and unleash Marie on
Facebook. Yeah. So you can hit us up. You can message us. If you have any questions, please let us know and we will talk to you soon. Bye