The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast

#05 - Is Your Morning Routine Serving You? | Self Improvement Podcast

February 02, 2022 Janelle Bridge & Aleesha Keti
The Permission Givers | Female Empowerment Podcast
#05 - Is Your Morning Routine Serving You? | Self Improvement Podcast
Show Notes Transcript

We dive into morning routines, and whether or not your morning routine is actually serving you.
 
We talk about the balance between structure and allowing things to flow.
The balance between pushing ourselves and being kind to ourselves. 

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Find Janelle:
Website >> www.janellebridge.com.au
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Insta >> www.instagram.com/unleeshd_you

anelle (00:00):

Welcome back guys. Thank you so much for listening in. Once again, today, we are talking about discipline and flow and trying to find that correct balance between the two.


Leesh (00:09):

And this is such a triggering topic for me currently. It's coming up for me this morning as we speak trying to navigate the most aspects of my morning routine that are gonna serve me best right now. And, you know, I've navigated moments or periods of time where I've literally been spot on with my morning routine. Like had a structure stuck to it religiously consistently for months on end. And it really works well for me. I know I actually work really well with consistent structure Over the last couple of years. It's been a little tougher with everybody's day to day life changing so much. Yep. Consistent lockdowns and isolations and separation has yeah, like just created a whole heap of change for everybody and having to navigate, how does that now fit in to a structure that's gonna serve me?


Janelle (01:10):

Yep.



Leesh (01:12):

Has, has been not as straightforward or easy as I would've liked.



Janelle (01:16):

Well, it's been very stop start. So let's be real about that too. And that's again, giving permission for things to be a little it at the moment, you know even from going to the gym and being in a great routine with that, and then gyms being shut down and then getting into a bit of a routine with home workouts and then back to the gym and getting into another routine and then back to home and back to the gym. And then suddenly, you know, if you're not vaccinated, then you're shut out from the gym and it's kind of, it gives you permission to do nothing. Let's be real. Let, for me, it gives me permission to just be like, whatever. I can't do anything. Thank you so much. You know what I mean? So I think it's, first of all, let's give permission for things to be a little bit chaotic at the moment. Especially for you Le navigating selling your home. You've got so much going on that. I feel that we need these touch points to come back to, to give us structure. But I also feel that we need to be a bit compassionate to go it's okay. That we don't have anything at the moment let's work on bringing it back.



Leesh (02:10):

And the, the thing is like you were just saying, being in and out of lockdowns and a consistent change is that's what we are working with here. We're working with consistent change and it's consistency that builds habit. And so we are not really the, the length of times that takes to build habit is being challenged. And



Janelle (02:31):

Let's be real. It's really hard to build a habit. It's you need lots of momentum to start building the habit. And then when the habit's in place, it's harder to break it. We know that and that brings me to, we often use bullying tactics on ourself to build a habit. And that's why it works. And we chatted with Louise last episode about building and empowering our relationship to exercise. And I briefly touched on that. I can bully myself to exercise and work hard and eat well and, and work hard. But I don't wanna do that anymore. Cause I've seen the undertones of what that does to self love and my body and my intuition and everything. So it's a struggle to, to find momentum without bullying myself. I'll be real about that.



Leesh (03:11):

Yeah. I didn't, I spoke to you this morning too. I sat with a bit about this. Like, why am I having so much resistance to it? Yeah, I've got a wealth of knowledge on what, what you can do to add to a Mor morning routine that might serve you. And I've actually tried so many things. And I was saying to you this morning, I just wanna do it all. I know it all works for me. Yeah. I wanna do some yoga. I wanna walk, I wanna work out. I want my cold. I wanna do some Breathworks and meditation, some journal. And I'm like, that is just not time efficient. So I have to water it down enough or compact it, make it more compact so that I can fit something in that I can be consistent with. It's gonna sit



Janelle (03:51):

Right now. And I feel that your morning routines, like I would have a giggle cause that were huge. Like they were, they were hours worth of morning routines. And I'm like, man, if I can get half an hour to an hour to myself, then I'm happy with that. But again, it's, it's about being realistic too. As to what we can include in our morning, we need to be really realistic about what is sustainable and what we can include. And our levels of commitment outside of our morning to ourself is really different. So I have two kids who are at eight and 10 and one is additional needs in this home all the time. And you know, I have a dog that I get out and walk every morning. So I've got that's, that's a non-negotiable for me. Whereas you, your kids are older. They don't need you as much. So you have a bit more freedom. So everyone has a different capacity for their morning routine as well. I probably laughed at yours cuz I'm a bit jealous of it.



Leesh (04:43):

That's that was when I was consistent, probably closer to a year and a half ago. And I had to structure when I was still working and I had a job and I was getting up at the same time every morning. So I, and it was probably about an hour solid hour, but I really nailed that down. And it really created a whole heap of action within me and a really productive, proactive, high vibes days as well. Yeah, by giving that to myself.



Janelle (05:09):

Well that's when you were working for someone else though. So that was truly your only time for yourself and now you're working consistently for yourself. But I think with freedom comes, I don't wanna say Laz that laziness.



Leesh (05:23):

I never said we spoke about that this morning already. And I'd said to you that I'm, I, I can, I'm trying to view most of my patterns that didn't work for me in the past and change that. So one of my patterns was to be really unkind to myself when I was lazy and because I was unkind to my laziness that literally had me stuck there. I was drawn to it more cuz I would just focus on it and like the negative self talk about being lazy. And it would attach me to the laziness which prevented me from changing. It.


Janelle (05:54):

Isn't that interesting because I'm the other way. So if I can be unkind to myself being lazy, that catapults mean to being motivated, but then I'm motivated for the wrong reasons and then I'll crash down. So it's interesting how it affects people in different ways, but being unkind to myself is never the answer. Whether it gets for me to break the habit is really hard because it gets results. So, you know, I could look at my, in the mirror and be like, don't like that, that's disgusting. You need to do something about that. Right. And I'll go do something about that and I'll feel a million dollars, but I'll be caught up in this horrible mindset of just going through the motions to be worthy. You know? So that's what really built me. You're not worthy unless you don't have a fault. And if you have a fault, well guess what? You better work on it. It otherwise you're lazy and therefore unworthy and now I'm just like, I am a mess, but that's okay. And I'm sitting in the that's okay. A little bit too much as well. That's what the topic is.



Leesh (06:50):

That was, that was the other end of my trying to change that pattern was that I'm realizing now that I'm sitting, trying to have compassion for my laziness. Yes. That I'm getting nowhere.



Janelle (07:02):

We're both. But I feel this energy is a bit funky too. So it is a bit of a funky energy as well. And I feel that change is always uncomfortable and I do feel this is part of both of our growth. But we need to change it. And this is, this is, this is this podcast. This is the permission givers, you know, this is, we are gonna be real. And overall we're gonna not sit on here and say, we know everything about everything in our life is perfect.

Leesh (07:23):

Yeah.

Janelle (07:24):

Yeah. Full disclosure. I had a meltdown before we hit record today because my life is feeling really hard and really stuck and really heavy at the moment, you know? And yeah. I was like, how am I gonna get this lump outta my throat to talk? And I just needed to, to talk and have a cry before I jumped on you. You know? So we will never see here and be like, live is perfect and everything is easy and you should do exactly. As we say, man, we do not know what we are doing. And we give you permission to also not know what you are doing and just roll with that because no one knows what they're doing. And that is one thing I dunno much, but I know that for sure is, none of us are getting it a hundred percent. Right. And

Leesh (07:59):

That it's something that I like. I thank you for every day. The permission for me to it up.

Janelle (08:04):

The permission to be a hot mess. You're welcome. The permission to show up. I think, I think permission. Yeah. And

Leesh (08:14):

All and all the mess. Yeah. And all the mess. The other thing that I said that I also voiced knighted you this morning was it dropped into me. And this was literally, I would say spirit because it just hit me in the, in my thoughts. Yep. You are scared of commitment for me that, that I am scared of commitment. And that is why I don't take action,

Janelle (08:37):

But let's be real. Coming back to, again, our episode, episode three, you can change your mind so you can commit to something and you can change your mind if you want to, it doesn't need to be a big deal, particularly your morning routine. You know what I mean? You can set, you can set your intention to run three days a week and then decide, I don't really want to, I'm gonna change that. So I feel that that sphere of commitment is maybe masking a fear of failure cuz if you commit to it and you don't like it, then you failed.

Leesh (09:04):

Yeah. And so I, again, this is me and that thought process that consistently wants to go deeper and like what's underneath that. What's underneath that. And so when I after commitment was like a, I, it is triggering my abandonment wound. Mm

Janelle (09:20):

Okay. Wow.

Leesh (09:21):

So yeah, if I, if I don't commit like to, to anything, then that thing can't leave me.

Janelle (09:29):

You're committing to yourselves. Yeah.

Leesh (09:32):

Essentially. I think that was a massive part of my I abandonment wound is that it taught me to abandon myself. Yeah. And so I, so it was like, yeah, like if I don't, if I don't commit to something, then I don't have to deal with what happens when I'm abandoned and that triggers this wound that has me abandon myself.

Janelle (09:53):

Yes. I get that. I do.

Leesh (09:54):

That's a pattern.

Janelle (09:55):

Yes. I understand that. I guess what comes through to me and I guess from spirit as well right now is that we've just gotta simplify it. You know, we've just gotta simplify it. Like, you know, and again, in chaos and constant change and our previous episodes, guest Louise talks about this too. A lot on her Instagram as her life is quite chaotic right now there's lots of big changes and she needs her structure and her movement to be those touch points to be okay in the chaos. So I think that it's like children, they thrive on some form of routine. They need it. Mine don't have much, but that's okay. We need a certain level of routine to be okay. And we need those touch points particularly in chaos to be well. So, but I don't think that it needs to be as gungho as both of us have done previously, you know?

Janelle (10:43):

Yeah. So even looking at a weekly plan that goes, Hey, did you run three times this week? Awesome. You know, instead of like every day, get up, go for a run, do some yoga after a journal for 45 minutes, meditate for 35, you know, we can't do all of that. So what are the touch points what's important to you? And I think for our listeners as well is nonnegotiable just make three, make three nonnegotiables for yourself every week I'm listening. I'm not doing it. I'll write it down. I'll do it later. This is my permission to myself to actually get it done.

Leesh (11:16):

Yeah. A hundred percent. So I reached out to a friend this morning too, and asked for some guidance around my lack of motivation and his advice knowing me really well was that if you don't sleep well, it, it has a massive, like probably the biggest effect on my mornings and setting my mornings up correctly. So like, if I, honestly, I, I would believe that that would be the biggest tip for a morning routine is to, to get a good sleep.

Janelle (11:45):

You've just hit a light bulb, light bulb moment for me too, because my child, my 10 year old hasn't been sleeping and the last few nights have been okay, but I've actually struggled to wind down and that's probably paramount to why my mental health is struggling today because I haven't been bloody sleeping properly. And I've still been like, I got up at five 30 this morning. I wanted to walk the dog and go for a swim before school started. Because to me it's really balance game. Whether is sleep more important or is like alone time more important. I think every mom struggles with that, like we stay off way too late. Cause we're like, I just wanna be alone. Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. But sleep is so important, but again, we have to balance it too. What's more important.

Leesh (12:27):

And do you know, this is the other word that come up that I shared with you this morning sacrifice. Mm. I mean, and you know, it can be okay, I'm gonna sacrifice my sleep in so that I can get up and give myself this time. Mm. But for me, that also touched on us as moms, as parents. Like how can I have more compassion to the word sacrifice it was for me. Cause because as I've gone on a self love journey which I navigated morning routines through and, and that really supported it sacrifice was a word that like sacrificing myself was a no go. Like I'm not everything I do. I'm choosing to implement all this structure and commit to my self. Yeah. Which meant that I guess the balance between how I showed up for other people was gonna be challenged as well, even our children. And there was a big message in that for me though, was that how I show up for myself is how I teach them to show up for themselves.

Janelle (13:30):

Yes.

Leesh (13:31):

And that's vitally important cuz I thought, if I'm this over self-sacrificing Marty. And we spoke about that in one of our earlier podcasts that this is kind of the energy that I teach my kids to have to be these this over self-sacrificing Marty. And you, you spoke about this, the start of the podcast today. It's about trying to find the balance. What's the healthy balance of having like sacrificing and what yeah. What to sacrifice and how much of it.

Janelle (14:00):

Yeah. And I think, you know I think when we start things, they need to be quite structured, but what's kind of coming in now with, I guess, how, how chaotic our lives are. But I feel everyone that's listening is in some form of chaos and big change at the moment too. So I feel like sometimes it could be, you know, having that conversation with yourself on a Sunday night just to go, what do I need more of this week? What is going to support me during this week? And honestly I felt a little bit like this on Sunday night and I really could have gone, you know, what you need to do is you need to sleep. You need to have your sleep bins, you need to release the chains of your morning routine and you need to put in some form of, of exercise maybe in the afternoon, you know?

Janelle (14:39):

I think that could be a really great way to get us through the change that's happening at the moment, instead of just because you know what I'm like, I can tap into that masculine warrior energy and I will push through and then I'll have a breakdown. That's what I do. And then I'll get back up and I'll keep going. But I don't, I wanna avoid those breakdowns. I don't wanna push myself to that point anymore. So I feel that, you know, maybe that's, and again, we're just offering suggestions as we navigate through how the do we do this? I feel that that would support me to really set the intention for my week ahead. Every week is different right now. You know, both you and I are battling lower back pain, which is something I've never experienced before. And I feel that it's energetic, but for me to do a weights workout or something, I, I couldn't do that right now.

Janelle (15:24):

My body is so sore. So if that was my structure for my week, well I've already failed. You know, whereas if I set that on a Sunday and go, okay, your body is sore. And it's about being realistic and honest too. It's like, I don't really wanna do anything this week. I'm not gonna do it. That's not being realistic and honest. That's being lazy. That's giving yourself permission to be lazy, but it's like, okay, I need to implement some form of exercise into my week, this week. When am I gonna do it? And what am I feeling like?

Leesh (15:51):

Absolutely like, like you were saying, I've had a few things drop in for me too around. What's gonna support me to get back on the wagon this week. And one obviously asleep. And if anybody out there has any advice for us around how to shift this lower back pain, I actually don't feel like it's necessary really fully my own physical function. I feel like I'm holding onto something else from someone else. Yeah. I don't feel

Janelle (16:17):

The politically. Yeah. I don't feel it belongs to me either. So we're going deep into we land now guys. I don't feel it belongs to me either. It's just a, it's a funky energy. And by the time this episode's release, the funky energy will better have shifted. But you know, maybe this will find you at a time where, and another energetic shift is coming, but yeah.

Leesh (16:36):

And it may not be lower back pain. It might be something else that comes up for you. But you can ask yourself, is this really mine? Or is this it's mine, maybe something else that's going on.

Janelle (16:44):

And I guess what's coming up with, for me for this, this structure and this routine and the fear of not having it is that we're not trusting ourself to step back into it.

Leesh (16:53):

Mm yep.

Janelle (16:54):

You know, so even when you're like, I need to get back on the wagon, what wagon, the health and fitness way, like what wagon are you talking about? Like, are you worried that you're gonna go back to the person that you were like, you're still keeping yourself in fear, keeping yourself in masculine fear. I've gotta stay three steps ahead. Instead of I'll tackle it when it comes. And I'm 100% living in that energy right now, which is the energy that I've tried so hard to stay away from. And I'm living in that energy of like, you need to hustle, you need to make money. You need to do this. You need to get back on the bandwagon for food and fitness. You need to do this or you are gonna end up. I'm doing that whole. I'm not present in my body right now. I'm 10 years in the future and I'm making the worst case scenarios in my head.

Leesh (17:35):

The other thing I wanted to touch on is around the, again, it comes back to the, the, the feminine energy for me, like needing to choose and why I say this is because when I reached out this morning for advice, I actually was reaching out to be told what to do. I wanted him to say to me, get up, go for a walk, do your journaling, do it, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to be told what to do. So it was me Literally stepping back into potentially victim mode. Like not choosing, I, I decided I wasn't, I didn't wanna choose. I want you to choose for me please.

Janelle (18:08):

So sometimes that's burnout and that was the other subject that we were gonna touch on today, but we changed due to what was coming up. But we will talk about that soon is that, that balance of the masculine and feminine energy and as women, when we have to step into the masculine so much, sometimes we just get to a point where we're like, I don't know, I'm sick of choosing choose for me. And it's not necessarily a victim. But it's just kind of going take care of me cause I'm struggling to take care of myself.

Leesh (18:35):

Yeah. I just wanna say around that too, that if you are the woman, like the woman that we were meant several years ago, and you now have the courage to say that to your husband, you've come along way.

Janelle (18:47):

Yeah.

Leesh (18:48):

Come a long way. But that's definitely something to be celebrated. Mm. So going back to morning routines oh, so yeah, I did have a few other things that I wanted to share around, I guess, commitment that I'm, that I can often have resistance to is to find someone to be accountable to yes, yes. Yourself, an accountable. It's not about giving a power of choice away, but it's about keeping yourself accountable,

Janelle (19:17):

Just having another voice, you know, rather than your own and yeah. And it, it is, and you are still deciding what you wanna do. And then you're asking that person to keep you accountable for that time as well, you know?

Leesh (19:27):

Yeah. And sometimes it can just be I'm gonna to check in with you after I've done my workout. So that, that's your way of like, feeling like, okay, I've told her, I'm gonna check in with you. So I be, if do the workout,

Janelle (19:39):

I was doing that with my cold water swims. I remember pulling up to the beach and probably even saying it to you, Lee. She's like, I've been sitting in my half a half an hour and I really don't wanna get in. This is in the middle of winter, mind you. And then I'd be like, all right, going in now, I'm telling you so that I actually do it. And then that would be enough to snap me outta my head, outta my warm car to go in the ocean, which I ever, I, I loved, I frost off it. I never ever regretted an ocean swim that I had. And you know what, that's just triggering me as well in that I probably need to bring some more cold showers into my morning. Because I'm swimming, I've been to a swim this morning, but you, it's not a challenge anymore.

Janelle (20:13):

It's beautiful. It's grounding, but it's not hard, you know? But then again, I go, why am I, why am I throwing myself back into masculine challenges? Why can't I just nurture myself? And if I'm very honest with myself, I need that's. My soul is calling to, for me to nurture myself. And I'm distracting myself with masculine activities and challenges. And that's just hit me right now. And this is, you know, this is the power of our relationship because I often find that just through talking. I go, ah, that's my problem. Awesome. Thank you. Now. And, and to be fair and to be real and raw and honest, I don't wanna nurture myself cuz I don't feel worthy of nurturing myself because I'm feeling really useless this week. I feel like I don't deserve it and that's it. And I would never ever tell another female that that's or another human that they are unworthy of nurturing because they haven't achieved. That is uncomfortable to voice, but they, you go. But

Leesh (21:08):

Yeah, this is what I'd said prior to getting on this live and hitting a record for you guys was that I said, cuz it was a very raw moment, but you know, and I said, this is the magic to now you give permission here right now in your rawness for others to just feel whatever that, whatever the they're feeling yeah. In that moment and allow and allow it and be okay with whatever that is.

Janelle (21:33):

Yeah. And this is the thing and I think it's the fear that's making us go, but I don't wanna feel like this or like, but I don't have a morning routine and I need to get one. And it's like pushing us back to trying to find a coping mechanism and I get, this is not disregarding the importance of it, cuz it's so important. And this is not saying we don't need them, but it's like, are we hiding behind them? Are we distracting ourself from feeling what we actually need to feel?

Leesh (22:00):

And what I love about this podcast so far is that what we share is expanding your options on how you wanna, in a view, something, you don't have to see everything the way we see it, but we are opening up a space for you to have new perspectives. Yep. See things from a different angle, like all angles between me and you. We cover a lot of angles within either of our perspectives. And so yeah, hopefully the, if you get to tune in and listen to what we have to say, that you get to pick up on either of our perspectives and say, okay, that feels good for me. And yeah, that I, that resonates resonates for me. Or even it can be so challenging. It throws you into a, another path of figuring out what does resonate for you. If it doesn't.

Janelle (22:47):

I just did something really weird while I I'm here. And I decided to pull a card cuz you know, I'm woo woo. And I'm having a little bit of a laugh at the card that I've pulled just to confirm that we are absolutely talking about the right subject today. And it is stillness, which is 100% what we're avoiding. It's what I'm even avoiding by recording a podcast for guys today. And I'm telling myself that no, no, no, no, no. I need to do this in discipline. I am avoiding being still because I don't want the information to come through that I need to hear right now. And the other card that came through is mastery. So we need to master the stillness. So I think that that's probably a sign that our morning routine needs to include some meditation for the seven days.

Leesh (23:32):

Holy. And you know, that actually made me a little emotional because there, there was a bit of discomfort that come up around stillness. It's like, oh my God, no stillness, no, that's so unsafe. And you know what, I'm actually, I've navigated a lot more comfortability around stillness and I, that I've never like I never had in my younger years. But yeah, it just feels like. But if I'm, if I'm still everything's gonna take off without me, or, or things will die,

Janelle (24:00):

I think yeah, for me, it's yeah, things will die. It's this. And we're both touched on it without it even being clarified. And that's why I love cards. And that's how you should read cards. You should get the thoughts first and then pull the card that reiterates what you're thinking rather than turn into the cards for the answers, which we often do. But we've said it a few times today, which is I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not getting anywhere. I'm useless. I'm not getting anywhere. Why do we need to, what is going on here? Why are they doing this again? Where

Leesh (24:28):

The are we going? Where the are we going? And so I, I guess that's when we can get caught up so much in the destination and forget about the journey. And I feel that in my bones right now, but I wasn't feeling that this morning. So I just wanna, again, reiterate, we can change our mind.

Janelle (24:45):

I enjoy the journey. I enjoy the journey and I don't really care about the destination as long as I'm moving, but I ain moving and I don't like that. And that is avoidance avoidance of stillness. Well, this has been an incredible coaching session for both of us. I think we've worked through our own. Hopefully it's been helpful for other people, but that is gives you in very real time how you can support yourself through these feelings of, of crappiness too, because I'm feeling a hell of a lot better as to understanding what my problem actually is right now. And I was projecting it on a lot of external things, but essentially it's the fact that I am being made to be still right now. And I don't like it and I am resisting.

Leesh (25:28):

Yep. That's spot on. Mm. You restate

Janelle (25:31):

That? No, because I still don't like it and I still feel

Leesh (25:34):

Uncomfortable.

Janelle (25:37):

I'll listen to it again later, but I feel very, I actually am feeling something shift physically in my stomach from that. Yeah. And I actually said to you about this back pain that I felt that I was being anchored and you said the same. So the spirit is literally like we gonna anchor you so you can be still and sort your. And we're like, no, I don't wanna, okay. We could have clarified this in a meditation session. Let's be real.

Leesh (26:07):

We could have, I, I yeah, going back to the back pain for me, that's affecting my sleep, which was what I said is probably a key aspect to wanting to have some form of morning structure is to sleep well. And so for, for me, definitely looking at what that is, but, and I do know that movement, like whether, however, that is gonna fall, it doesn't necessarily have to be first thing in the morning, but I feel like movement is gonna build some strength, resistance. It's gonna build some strength. That's gonna support that. And so I just wanted to touch on some things that I'm gonna do moving forward. For starters, find, we find an accountability, buddy. I'm just gonna commit to you to do a few things each morning. And just some real basic journaling, cuz I think I got overwhelmed with that too. So going back to my gratitudes each morning and into tension setting, it's, it's literally five minutes of journaling. If that coming up with three to five things I'm grateful for every morning. Yeah. Three to five intentions for my day. And just, I'm gonna be consistent to that for the next week and see where that goes.

Janelle (27:18):

Yeah. I love that. I love that. And that's simple and that's doable and gratitude always brings us to the present moment. We can't be anxious and grateful at the same time. It's actually not possible. So gratitude is the one thing that we just don't wanna do. I didn't wanna do it this morning. I was just like everything. And no one understand and everyone can just off basically. No one else stands me. I'm on my own and I hate myself. So that's great. You know, that was my moment this morning. But gratitude always pulls us out of that and it, it heals our body too. So I think gratitude, if we can do nothing, if we don't feel comfortable committing to anything other than gratitude, I think that's perfect. And I think the power of doubling down is cool too.

Janelle (27:57):

So if you can only fit in one thing and that might be to walk your dog or commit to walking a bit further and commit to listening to a podcast us every day or you know, thinking in your mind about what you wanna call into the day or what you're grateful for. So I think you can just go, all right, I'm already walking the dog. I don't have time to do anything else. Cool. What else can I bring to that moment? Could I listen to something more uplifting? Could I reach out to my friends while I voice notes on Instagram? Could I listen to something inspiring? How else can I change that and really set the intention for the day, but I think morning routines, essentially, they are about setting attention just in different ways to do that. So coming back to stopping, taking a moment, working out what you need and calling that in,

Janelle (28:42):

Yes. And that's gonna change week to wait, particularly women in our cycles. It's gonna change week to week in what we need and we need to understand, and we can. And I feel like maybe this is another topic, cuz we'll just talk for hours. And I know we both have other sessions coming up today, but we are not made to worry through every day as the same in the same way that men are. Men are very good for do that. They're great at turning up and having the same workout every Monday, the same workout every Tuesday and going through as women, our bodies are not made for that. Mm

Leesh (29:16):

And I, I think that was essentially the theme of this podcast today around how to navigate the balance between the S and the flow. So the structure of the masculine and the flow of the feminine and yes, we aren't the same. No. And my masculine mindset that's conditioned is trying to figure out how to feel safe, flowing with my morning routine and not having to look like a man's morning routine. You know

Janelle (29:48):

What? I was just brought to something that I remember Sam had at school and he would often not feel comfortable. This is my son being verbal. So he'd have a LA a laminated list and he could choose with his finger what he wanted to do. So, you know, you don't have to laminate it and, and, and ticket it, but you could just have a list in front of you that you go, this is my morning self care routine. What am I feeling today?

Leesh (30:10):

I freaking love it.

Janelle (30:12):

So good. Isn't it. And again, so good. It's, it's not having choice that us off. That's why we're like, I don't wanna clean the house, you know, and wanna do this. And we talked, I talked to, I've talked about this a lot during the week is choosing, is, you know, as moms were like, I'm stuck here. I have to look after these kids every day and it feels really overwhelming, but then it's like, hang on a minute, you have a choice. You don't have to look after your kids. You can leave. You can leave. Do you wanna? No. Okay. So you having a wing? Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Leesh (30:46):

Honestly, So much up in that little snippet then it is, and there's this level of responsibility that it's ours and, and to have this gratitude for it, it's like, okay, I, I get to be this person. I get to be this person. And then we don't have to feel so resentful about making those choices.

Janelle (31:10):

And I've used that. I've used that I get to be a mom I'm so lucky. And it hasn't been enough to carry me through sometimes because it's like, but right now it's. You know? But I think coming back to what we always have a choice. Yes, I birth these babies, but I have a choice as to whether I'm here in this house with them today. I have a choice as to whether I continue to raise them and morally, of course, I'm gonna continue to raise my children. You know, I love them. I do with them. But when I'm re remembering that I have a choice, it doesn't feel like a chain.

Janelle (31:40):

Yes. You know, same with my marriage. Sometimes I husband drives me crazy. And it's like, I'm stuck. Well, I'm not, I always have a choice. What do I choose to do? Doesn't mean that any choice is easy, cuz it's not, but I always have a choice. And when I think when we come back to the choice, it's like, well, you're not being self responsible when you're just blaming your circumstances, which is 100% what I was doing before I got this podcast. And I hate the spirit is talking through me and through me right now. But it's, and that's okay.

Leesh (32:13):

That is okay. You know, and this is the beauty of it. And just in closing, I will say too, I hope that you can take away from listening to this episode, something of value for yourself else just by hearing our own perspectives and we, what we are going through and where we are at right now that we give you permission, make your own choices in that moment.

Janelle (32:34):

Absolutely. Definitely. And contact us because we are the gurus this morning routine, not it's just about doing what works for you in that moment and that's totally okay. So as always, thank you so much for listening. There's plenty, more episodes where this one came from and plenty of other subjects. So make sure you give us a follow. If you like, what you hear, please give us a review that is highly, highly appreciated. And until then we give you permission to keep living your best life. Bye. Hi.